A kiss can make you feel everything, or it can make you feel nothing. Therefore, a common purpose of the kiss is helping determine your attaction to someone. A kiss can make or break your relationship: it is the separator between friend and lover.
It could be argued that a kiss is just as intimate as sex, and makes just as much of an impact. I remember certain kisses more than most of my sexual encounters.
Here are my ingredients for a good kiss:
It's common sense, but too many people are guilty of having bad breath. Bad breath can happen to you! Practice self-awareness and make sure you keep your teeth clean and your breath fresh. It doesn't matter how good a kisser you are, bad breath will ruin everything.
Build To The Moment
Whether it's the end of a first date, or after a few weeks of dating, the anticipation you build creates tension and you break the tension with a kiss. It's like the anxious moments in any good developing story. Make sure you don't wait so long that the other person questions whether you're interested in them...or the opposite sex, as I'm prone to do.
The Eyes Have It
When you're leaning in for a kiss, you can't use your mouth to speak, so why not say something with eye contact? But, I make sure to close my eyes during the actual kiss because it's a little creepy when one of us has our eyes open, and it can be distracting. For instance, I couldn't have kissed anyone with my eyes open this past week with Discovery Channel on in the background because it was Shark Week-- I would have totally snuck some peeks at the TV. They say that blind people's senses other than sight are enhanced. Temporary blindness during a kiss may intensify the way a kiss feels, the sound of another person's breathing, or the touch of their hand.
Don't Try To Control It, Let It Control You
A good kiss is powerful, so you should just let it grip you and go with it. The moment is broken if you try to control it.
Kiss People You Like
We are all guilty of kissing people we weren't into: maybe on the dance floor, or during a moment of weakness late night in the bar. If you only kiss people you really want to kiss, those kisses will be a lot better. Kissing too many people might lead to numbness. But on the other hand, some people might tell you "practice makes perfect".
Kissing is a team effort. Don't squelch someone's spirit by going on the offensive or taking control. Feel each other's tendencies out, and go from there.
The Tongue Giveth, The Tongue Taketh Away
Tongue use can be great, or horrible. My buddy was dating a girl who continuously licked his face when they kissed. It led to them breaking up. Remember, it's a kiss, not a facial wash. No one likes to be attacked by a tongue, or have their entire mouth filled by someone's tongue. But a tongue used well can make a kiss great.
Catching someone off guard with a kiss can be a wonderful thing. Give them a little gift when they least expect it.
Pay Attention To Surroundings
Whether it's candlelight, a tent under the stars, in the ocean, or in a sudden rain storm, special/new surroundings make a kiss interesting. Because your eyes are closed most of the time during a kiss, you'll hear and even feel the things that are going on around you more clearly.
Make sure, like your tongue, you control your saliva. Don't create river of slobber down your chins.
Use Your Hands
Don't get fixated on someone's face. Touching their neck or sides, or just holding them close during a kiss makes it even better.
Lay Off The Drink
I came to a sad realization the other day that I have not kissed a girl sober in a very long time. Naturally, I haven't been in relationship that worked out for a long time. Sure, it's fun to split a bottle of wine and smooch a bit, but I bet that the best kisses occur when we are sober.
What are your ingredients for a good kiss and what do you think of mine? What kisses do you remember for being great or being horrible and why? What are the best and worst things someone can do during a kiss?
Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens