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What's The Best Way To Approach A Girl?

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What's The Best Way To Approach A Girl?


It takes a certain amount of luck, the perfect storm, to meet a person at a party or at a bar. I've laid out the different ways to "meet" a girl when out:


Mutual People Watching


I like to pick out fun activities to do with a girl when I first meet her. Together, we can critique outfits, laugh at antics, and make observations. It's a great way to feel out a person's sense of humor, and even get a feel for their intellect. But I have to watch out for being too critical of others or coming off as condescending.


Hating a Place Together

In The Trenches

This is taken from the "perfect pick up line" I once wrote about. I can get into someone's corner by immediately bonding with them over how lame a place is when meeting them. How miserable is it when the music is too loud, or when the bar is too hot? Commiserating is a great way to build kinship. In fact, when something sucks and you all realize it together, you end up forming a tighter bond than when everything is perfect around you-the "in the trenches" together mentality.


Buying A Drink


This one is as old as time. Buying a drink can come off as cheesy, but it's hard for a girl to be upset with someone who buys her a drink. Personally, I've never bought a stranger a drink. But, I have gone out with girls I like in groups and just bought that particular girl drinks all night. Most of the time this just ends up being $200 spent, with no date or makeout at the end. This one is a little risky too because if you buy her a drink, she might take it and then not give you the time of day afterward. With the economy the way it is, I need to make sure all investments make sense.




My old no-fail line used to be telling a girl I liked her outfit. Sometimes I just give in and say that a girl is cute and go from there. But over complimenting-especially in a drunk haze-has not really gotten me anywhere. There has got to be a middle ground so it is charming but not over done.


Group Breakup


Mean GirlsThe group breakup is an intimidating proposition, but I can achieve that rare air of confidence if I actually do it. It's risky because sometimes girls are out and don't want to deal with guys. If I can get over being outnumbered, I can charm up the girl and her friends one by one. And, once her friends think I'm fun, then you look that much more attractive. But going in on my own to break up a group of intimidating girls is easier said than done.




Sidling requires me to tap the magician in me. To sidle, I have to simply magically appear next to a girl. This is most easily done at the bar. I kind of saunter up to the bar to order your drink, right next to a cute girl, and then I lock eyes as you wait for the bartender. Maybe you can even combo this with "hating the place together":


"Geeze, it takes forever to get a drink in this place," and then top that off with buying her a drink. Magical!


Thrown Together


This happens in crowded spaces and on the dance floor. You are out in the crowd and somehow the current of the crowd just tosses you together. Once you're tossed together, you might as well start talking to one another. The only issue at this point is making sure the tides of the crowd don't pull you apart-anchor yourselves!


The most important things to achieve after knocking down that wall of the approach are:


1. Smile

2. Eye Contact

3. Hook and Great Conversation


But I wonder if I should be approaching girls in the light of day-like randomly in cafes or at the park or in the street. I've never had the guts to do that. Perhaps I just need alcohol to loosen me up. But maybe it makes it that much more affective like a horror movie: "wow, this bad guy is even killing people during the day!"


But, do you enjoy being approached in broad daylight anywhere, or would you prefer being hit on in bars or at parties? What's the most memorable approach a guy ever made toward you? And, which approach outlined above would you like a guy to do to you most? Do you have any advice for me on making an approach-especially the kind in broad daylight?


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