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Does an Invitation to One's Place Mean They Want to Make Out?

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Does an Invitation to One's Place Mean They Want to Make Out?

When the Rolling Stones sing "Let's Spend the Night Together," they are obviously going to make out with whoever comes home with them. But for mere mortals like me, does an invitation to a girl's place, or an accepted invitation to stay at my place, mean it's an invitation to make out?

Many guys consider the two invitations one and the same.

I actually have a different perspective, mostly because of my unaggressive approach, and my fear of offending any woman I try to touch.

My girl friends have told me many horror stories about guys' behavior in their apartments after being invited in, or when visiting his place after a date:


Now, I have different approach when invited to a girl's place, or inviting a girl back to my place.

I'm like a tiger pacing back and forth in a zoo inside a tiny cage. I have too much nervous energy, and I never know how to "time" my move...or if I'm even supposed to make a move (very un-Stones-like).

Examples of my activities when in a girl's place:


When I invite a girl over to my place, I expect that she wants to make out if she accepts. I do manage, however, to screw it up in many ways once it comes down to it — similar to my behavior when I'm at her place. I'll find any distraction possible to dissolve my chances of making out.

Some situations are more obvious than others. And it also has to do with timing. I'd be nervous to try to make out with a girl if she invited me in after a first date

Here are a few rules:

Meeting at the Bar and Going Home Together Means the Same Thing It Does in the Movies

When I ask a girl to come home with me from the bar, I assume she knows I want to make out with her. And if a girl invites me home after meeting at a bar, I figure I've got a chance at a make-out.

A Weekend Visit from Afar Usually Causes a Spark

This is also nearly a guaranteed make-out, even between friends, as long as you end up in the same bed at some point. You may be purely friends, but if there's any chance of chemistry between you, you have the entire weekend to sort it out and let it happen. And when someone travels to visit you, it shows some effort.

Think It Over Before Inviting Someone in After a First Date (or Dates Early in the Process)

There are other reasons for inviting someone in, besides making out. You may want to extend a date because you enjoy talking to them. Or, you may want to show your place to them, because it's a reflection of who you are. I definitely see the "apartment showing" as an opportunity to show a girl the place she could hang out in on future dates — not necessarily as a chance to make out.

Try Not to Get Stranded

When we (most of the time while drunk) think it's a good idea to stay over, or go to someone's place far, far away, we are kind of trapped into making out. No one should ever feel like they must make out with someone, but it basically becomes part of the process because travel home is universally suspended until the next day for whatever reason. It's the "stranded on the island" mentality: Might as well make out then. Whether you make out, or insist on one of you being on the couch, it's awkward.

Same Bed Means Making Out (Most of the Time)

Except in stranded situations, when you end up in the same bed together, doesn't it usually mean something might happen...unless you pass out immediately like I usually do?

What is your take? Do you figure guys want to make out whenever they invite you in, or do you feel like they'll expect to make out if you ask them to hang out? Is an invite into someone's home an invitation to make out?


Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens

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About this blog

A smart, funny, attractive guy who not only admits to being clueless about women but is willing to share his dating diary? Tap your inner Bridget Jones by offering him your advice.

About the Author

Rich

Rich finds charm in stupidity and campiness in movies, celebs and life. He currently resides in New York City where some day he hopes to fall in love. Until then, he is happy to share his failures and successes and he's more than willing to follow your advice and encouragement. Rich is secretly romantic and believes the right girl is out there. But, on the surface, he's jaded and annoyed by everyone. Oh, and he'd never match his denims — so you shouldn't either. Follow him on Twitter: Twitter.com/richravens

Full bio Find all posts by Rich Contact Rich

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