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Is Everyone Secretly a Geek?

Is Everyone Secretly a Geek?

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The other night at a bar a friend of mine told me that her friend thought I was cute.

Unfortunately, I was happy just leaning against the bar people-watching all night.

After my friend asked me what was up, I told her:

"She can talk to me if she wants to."

My friend replied: "But you're intimidating."

I had to laugh at this. I'm the least intimidating person. It dawned on me that any girl that doesn't know the sad details of my total geekiness might really think I'm intimidating.

So, I realized that maybe we all have these secret geeky things about us. Maybe if I can keep this in mind, I can keep really cute girls from being so perfect and unapproachable: maybe they are geeks deep down inside too! And, on the other hand, if I hold back my geekiness, I can appear mysterious and intimidating.

Here are some examples of how I wish I was cool, but I'm actually a geek:

Where did I get the scar on my hand/wrist?

What I wish I could say:

My friends and I were being held up in the wrong part of town. I decided to do something about it. I ducked and rolled and took out the gunman. He broke a bottle on the ground and swiped at me, scratching my hand. Even though I was bleeding profusely, I was able to subdue the man and hand him over to police when they arrived on the scene.

The truth:

I was playing with my cat when I was little and he got mad and scratched me. I cried.

What did you do this weekend?

What I wish I could say:

What didn't I do? Was out til 5AM both nights. I rubbed elbows with celebs, and drank expensive liquor, and turned down multiple women so I could go to the diner with my boys.

The truth (most of the time):

I had a great weekend: at my café, they made my coffee just right because they steamed the milk. Then I sat with my coffee and learned about how volcanoes erupt, and the Black Plague's effect on the European population on Wikipedia, before skipping over to baltimoresun.com to read about my sports teams. Paid some bills. Got drunk in a dive bar, and passed out.

Were You In Any Clubs in College?

What I wish I could say:

Student government, school paper, and yearbook. I was so valuable.

Soup

The truth:

Well sort of. Me and my buddy Justin loved the dining hall soup so much that we created a club-the Soup Club; we wouldn't let anyone else in. We even made a plan to make a membership card but we got too drunk and couldn't follow through.

Why's there a picture of a pig on your cubicle wall? (this question is real, and has been asked multiple times)

What I wish I could say:

While traversing the African bush, I came upon a family of pigs surrounded by poachers (do pigs get poached?), and turned those poachers in to the authorities. I took a picture of the pigs to remember them.


The Truth:

My mom adopted a pig, and decided to name it Richard (I guess after me?) She sends me pictures and updates on the pig periodically. So, like any good son, I hang Richard on my office wall proudly.


Were you in the "cool" crowd growing up?

What I wish I could say:

Yeah, played sports, had a lot of friends and partied every weekend.

The truth:

I guess I was "popular". We were athletes, but my friends and I were goofballs. Sometimes we filmed fake talk show videos on the weekends in which we'd dress in 70's garb and dance. We also had this lame rap group (all white Private School boys) named "Posse In Effect". Oh, and I collected rocks...and stamps.

So I want to appear "cool" when I'm out. The less someone knows about me, the cooler I appear. But as a girl gets to know me she'll realize that I'm truly a geek. And hopefully she's a geek too. I'm going to start assuming these attractive girls are secretly geeks too, so it will make them more approachable.

Hey, what's the worst that can happen? They turn out to be too cool for me-that would be nothing new.

What kind of embarrassing things about yourself make you a geek? Eventually these things have to come out to someone you're dating. Do you wait a while before they come out, so you can seem "cool" in the beginning? Do you agree that most people do have their secret geeky side?

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