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What Goes On at a Bachelor Party?

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What Goes On at a Bachelor Party?

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You've heard it before: guys have a secret code stating they should not tell girls what happens at bachelor parties. But, I'm going to give you a glimpse of what goes on, and explain why I think bachelor parties are contrived.

Here are three elements that I've seen at every bachelor party I've been to:

Bachelor Party

Lots of Booze

I've seen everything from wine, to beer, to hard liquor to absinthe. I guess a lot of guys see the bachelor party as the last night they can get very intoxicated before real life sets in. As far as I'm concerned real life set in the minute I walked off of University of Delaware's campus with the last of my boxes from my house.

Strippers

Like booze, the spectrum of strippers I've seen at bachelor parties stretches far and wide. We had a party in someone's house in Baltimore; it was basically planned the night before. These cranky strippers showed up and proceeded to intimidate all of us.

Then there was Montreal where these adorable strippers showed up and were so hot that there were silent patches during the show where all of us just stood there in awe. One of the craziest moments of that show was when their vibrator broke. I thought to myself:

"This is the only time I'll ever see two girls discussing in French how to fix a vibrator."

Unsavory Behavior

A lot of guys look like they've broken out of prison at these things. They get entirely too drunk, they do things they shouldn't do like get overly flirtatious. Hopefully most women can identify a guy who is prone to this kind of behavior when they are dating them. Ultimately, the guy should be blamed for his behavior, not the bachelor party.

But bachelor parties are an inaccurate depiction of bachelor life. You want a slice of bachelor life? Scroll back through some of my blogs. Bachelor life consists of:

  • Sitting in front of the TV
  • Floundering around helplessly in the streets and in bars in search of love
  • Reading Wikipedia (subjects: sharks, horror movies, sports, history)
  • Caring way too much about your sports teams because you have no interference from a wife
  • Having no money to do laundry of buy a cup of coffee (let alone pay a stripper $100)
  • Pets: Cats/dogs/fish (often scary carnivorous fish)
  • Cooking soup or stirfry perfectly timed for a specific kickoff of a football game

If we wanted to celebrate bachelor life one last time, would we not just sit in our apartments with no care in the world, free to do whatever we wanted? In my spare time, I don't go to strip clubs or party and act like an idiot (well I do that second one).

Carniverous FishI'm lucky that I have close guy friends that value the moments of simply being around one another. As we get older and busier with work, significant others, life, we no longer get to do things like just sit in front of the TV in big groups and laugh.

I think I'll have more of a bachelor "shower" than a bachelor party. I will have a bunch of friends go away together to a place where we can grill, sit around, watch TV, and talk. By the time I'm engaged, I expect this girl will be so great that I will never be wishing there were more girls in a bar when I'm out with my friends.

Bachelor parties are a tradition. I guess I need to look at it from that standpoint, but it feels like everyone is trying too hard at these things.

What are your opinions about bachelor parties? Do you ever worry when your significant other attends one? Do you think they are necessary in their traditional state, of do you agree with me that a scaled down trip with friends makes more sense? Have you had any bad experiences with your significant other attending a bachelor party?

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