• Give a Gift
  • Customer Service
  • Promotions
  • Videos
  • Blogs
  • Win
  • Games

Why Your Guy Won't Initiate Sex

Posted in:

Why Your Guy Won't Initiate Sex


Newsflash: guys don't want to have sex all the time.

However, even if a guy is not in the mood, he'll go with it if a woman initiates sex. When a woman initiates, it feels sexy and different. Usually, the guy feels responsible for initiating sex. While a woman will sometimes refuse sex when she's not in the mood, a guy will not initiate sex if he's not in the mood.

Here are my reasons why:

The Game's On
If a game is important enough, it might actually take our mind off sex for more than ten minutes. Men are simple creatures, and TV is awfully distracting. So many guys fantasize about having sex with a woman on top, while peering around her body, wielding a remote. Most of us are not that awesome, so we give up sex to catch the big game on TV.

Too Many External Stressors
Men and women can actually agree on this one: stress messes with libido. During tough times at work or in my personal life, I'm forced to withdraw (mentally, of course).

When my cat passed away, I didn't think about sex for a few weeks. I didn't tell the girl I was dating though. "I can't have sex with you right now because I'm sad about my cat" doesn't seem like such a good excuse.

Performance Anxiety
When I'm drunk, my libido awakens. But I'm also worried about getting it up when I'm drunk. When libido and anxiety go to battle, the anxiety sometimes wins out.

What If Someone Sees (Or Hears) Us?
As an anxious sex participant, I'm thrown off by anything out of the ordinary. I don't want someone hearing us from an adjacent apartment, or spotting our spontaneous outdoor encounter. I don't sound very fun do I?

Masturbating Too Often
Men masturbate frivolously when we are single. Now, this doesn't change when we are dating, but we do pay more attention to the frequency of masturbation sessions.

Frequent masturbation is tiring, numbs the libido, and creates performance anxiety. So, when the real thing comes along, we might shy away because we've been doing too much "work" on our own.

What do you think of my reasons, and what reasons would you add to the list? Do guys ever dodge sex when you're initiating it?

Connect with Marie Claire:
daily giveaway
Go to the Beach

Go to the Beach

enter now
You Know You Want More
Special Offer
Link Your Marie Claire Account to Facebook

Marie Claire already has an account with this email address. Link your account to use Facebook to sign in to Marie Claire. To insure we protect your account, please fill in your password below.

Forgot Password?

Thanks for Joining

Your information has been saved and an account has been created for you giving you full access to everything marieclaire.com and Hearst Digital Media Network have to offer. To change your username and/or password or complete your profile, click here.

Your accounts are now linked

You now have full access to everything Marie Claire and Hearst Digital Media Network have to offer. To change your settings or profile, click here.