• Give a Gift
  • Customer Service
  • Promotions
  • Videos
  • Blogs
  • Win
  • Games

September 22, 2009

Sex Diary: The Underminer

hot couple sitting down

Photo Credit: Cevdet Gkhan Palas/iStock Images

Special Offer

Anna, 26, marketing manager, Atlanta

SUNDAY 7:40 p.m., restaurant: Having drinks with a friend and lamenting my dating drought. She says she has a guy for me—he's adorable, mysterious, and a doctor. She calls him to set it up.

11 p.m., bed: I Google him when I get home, and he looks totally cute in an Anderson Cooper kind of way. I lie in bed wondering if he'll be The One.

MONDAY 12:15 p.m., mall: Buy a new top for the date, since I decided that the 20 I own won't work. Get something subtle and sophisticated. Love the deep neckline.

TUESDAY 6:30 p.m., couch: He calls. After 30 seconds, he asks why, if I'm as wonderful as my friend claims, am I still single? I'm taken aback, but coolly reply that I'm just between guys. He says he wants to meet tonight but can only spare an hour. I'm in.

6:31 p.m., bathroom: Getting ready, I kick myself for agreeing to go out with him the same day that we spoke. I change bras three times.

7:10 p.m., restaurant: He's late. I feel like an idiot.

7:15 p.m.: He arrives at last. He doesn't have much to say—doesn't watch TV, see movies, or read popular fiction. He says he's about to go to Boston, so I tell him a story about my recent trip there: I was getting into a cab at the airport when the back of my jeans ripped. The rest of the ride I worried that I'd flash my ass cheek to all of downtown when I got out of the car.

7:33 p.m.: He asks, point-blank, if my jeans ripped because I was fat. Stunned, I reply, "I've always been a size 2." He nods—but is that skepticism in his eyes? What the...? I stop drinking my Peroni and quickly change the subject. I wonder when I can tactfully end this date.

8:10 p.m., outside the restaurant: It's over, thank God. We're waiting for the valet to get our cars, and he chides me for only taking out $2 for a tip. I explain that it's a Tuesday in Atlanta, not New Year's Eve in New York. He announces that he always tips at least $10. I thank him for the drink and run to my car.

WEDNESDAY 12:31 a.m., bed: Going over the date in my head. It's abundantly clear why he's single. I begin to question my friend's judgment and consider how much I should tell her about the date. I pray he doesn't call again.

8:05 a.m.: I stare at my not-at-all-fat thighs in the mirror. I'm telling her everything.

Connect with Marie Claire:
daily giveaway
Unlimited Brunch!

Unlimited Brunch!

enter now
You Know You Want More
More From Relationship Advice
The 6 Reasons Even the Best Relationships End

Here's hoping that Bey and Jay Z pull through, though.

How One Woman Toured Eastern Europe Using Tinder

I wanted the insider info I wouldn't get from a tour guide.

post a comment

Special Offer
Link Your Marie Claire Account to Facebook

Marie Claire already has an account with this email address. Link your account to use Facebook to sign in to Marie Claire. To insure we protect your account, please fill in your password below.

Forgot Password?

Thanks for Joining

Your information has been saved and an account has been created for you giving you full access to everything marieclaire.com and Hearst Digital Media Network have to offer. To change your username and/or password or complete your profile, click here.

Your accounts are now linked

You now have full access to everything Marie Claire and Hearst Digital Media Network have to offer. To change your settings or profile, click here.