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January 28, 2008

I Swore Off Sex for a Month

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DAY 18: Memo to self: Get the Entourage box set
We still get into long discussions over dinner, snuggle while watching our Netflix, and laugh at each other's goofy antics. I feel like something is absent, though — and I think it's that extra intimacy you only get from sex.

That, and I'm apparently missing getting off, too. I haven't shaved my legs in weeks or heard the whirr of a vibrator, and it's putting me on edge. When a friend and I watch an Entourage marathon, she's unfazed when Johnny Drama seduces a French blonde on the beach. When his shorts are around his ankles, I can't look away. Am I in high school?

When Fred and I get home from dinner later, he doesn't stand a chance. Our bedroom looks like a crime scene.

DAY 23: Are crotchless panties returnable?
I wore cotton undies and a T-shirt to bed last night. Fred sidled up to me, saying, "You look so good." I thought he would miss the lacy bras and peekaboo sets that I stuffed in the bottom of my drawer 20 days ago. He didn't need them, and neither did I.

DAY 26: Bringing it back
Today, I take a true/false relationship quiz and fall in love with Fred all over again. Completely alien statements like, "I feel like my partner doesn't really know me" and "we are bored with each other" make me realize how healthy our relationship is. If that's a 59, I'm OK with that.

DAY 30: The truth about sex
OK, I wasn't a perfect candidate for abstinence. Fred was right; I couldn't last a month. I learned that my issues are just that — my issues. Fred doesn't love me any more or less if we don't have sex for a while.

What else did I discover? A good relationship fosters good sex, but good sex doesn't necessarily foster a good relationship. Whether that required a few weeks on the wagon to figure out, I'm not sure. I'll let you know...as soon as we get out of bed.


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