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March 31, 2000

Score Your Strongest Orgasm Ever

Who hasn't had that moment when an orgasm seems so frustratingly elusive? Planning and thought are the key. Here, three top-notch experts let us in on 10 secrets to sex-cess...

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FOCUS ON FOREPLAY
1. Play by yourself before you call him over, but don't let yourself climax. Since some women can take 20 minutes or longer to get fully aroused, selfplay is a great warm-up for a quickie.
2. Be your own aphrodisiac. Natural smells are part of arousal, so go a day without perfumes or scented soaps. You'll be surprised how much your own scent is a turn-on for you both.
3. Recall a sexy scene--one from a film, or maybe the first time you had sex with your current partner. Recreate it.
4. Logan Levkoff, sexologist and sexuality educator: "Maximize foreplay-- by extending it for an entire week. Instead of sex, devote your time to kissing, stroking, and licking. By week's end, when you know you can have sex, you'll have one wild night."

PARTNER POINTERS
5. Lie down on top of him so you're both face up. Have him enter you slowly. This position gives him access to stimulate your clitoris.
6. Yvonne K. Fulbright, sexologist and author of the Hot Guide to Safer Sex: "Teach him how to give you a proper spanking--by doing it yourself. It helps him figure out what kind of contact your body likes--gentle or more aggressive. Encourage him to imitate next time you're on top."
7. Devote a night to a quest for your G-spot. Lie back and have your partner make a "come hither" motion with his second or second and third fingers. Explore the top vaginal wall, looking for a spongy area--the G-spot lies behind it. Or, if you're alone, reverse your hand position so your finger is cupped under your pelvis.
8. For a different take on the missionary position, have your man enter you as usual but then keep his pelvis close to yours. Instead of thrusting in and out, he should move in a grinding motion. Follow his movements, staying close to his body. The position keeps constant pressure on your vulva and clitoris, making orgasm during intercourse much more likely.

TOOLS THAT TANTALIZE
9. Want a toy for partner play? Try a vibrating cock-ring (Petal Ring, $20; babeland.com). It gives both of you constant stimulation. Or, tickle each other wearing gloves with mini vibrators in the fingers (Fukuoku Glove, $55; mypleasure.com). The lower back, upper thighs, and ankles are surprisingly sensitive spots.
10. Claire Cavanah, co-author of Sex Toys 101: "Leave Post-its marking things you want to try in a sex book for your partner. They're like little love notes. And it's a great way to bring up sex activities you'd feel uncomfortable discussing out loud."


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