Hello Wedding Season, Good-bye Savings
By Sarah Z. Wexler
Photo Credit: Roxanne Lowit
Hon, youre my best friend in the world, so no ones more thrilled than I am that youre getting hitched! And Im ecstatic that after a decade of friendship, you want me to share this day with you. But the thing is, your Special Day has actually turned into a Special Four-Nights-and-Five-Day Weekend, which happens to be in Aruba, which happens to be several thousand miles away. Itll take me a couple hundred bucks to get there, a couple more to stay at the all-inclusive resort you chose, plus the dress and the gifts and my share of your bachelorette-party blowout and you know what I get paid. Thats to say nothing of the five vacation days half of my stash for the whole year Ill drain to attend all of your brunches and rehearsals and showers. But who cares? After all, this is all for you.
Did I mention how happy I am for you guys? I just couldnt wait to run out and get you a fab gift. But you only registered for things like $400 sheets and a KitchenAid mixer, and I know you usually fall asleep on the couch watching Conan and that the closest you ever come to baking is eating raw cookie dough straight from the tube. So its extra hard for me to bankrupt myself to buy the kind of stuff I know that you, of all people, dont need in order to have a good time. But still, how fun is this wedding going to be?
One more thing: While its great your parents have been saving since you were 16 to fund your Big Bridal Bonanza, my folks havent been setting aside an account for me to attend it or the five other weddings Im invited to this summer. Of course, your dress is way prettier than any of theirs. Love those rosettes!
I swear, Im overjoyed for you. Im elated to celebrate your undying love, and Im envisioning all the great moments well share at your ceremony and reception. I just dont see why our friendship suddenly comes with such a hefty price tag. Cant I just make a killer toast and spot the next round of our favorite, Yuengling and cheese fries? Love ya!