Biggest insult to our sensibilities: The HOWIE MANDEL come-back, Deal or No Deal. Didn't his old stand-up routine involve an inflated latex glove that he wore on his head?
The best, best, best, ohmigod, best comedic actress on television, like, ever: MINDY KALING as Kelly Kapoor on The Office.
Most likely to primp while conquering evil: PETER PETRELLI, Heroes. Even if he is destined to save the cheerleader and, consequently, the world, his boy-band coif is enough to make us anti-Heroes.
Guiltiest (sort of) pleasure: MEN IN TREES. Thanks to the sexual tension in every single scene, we're hooked on this bastard child of Sex and the City and Northern Exposure.
Most likely to make us want to leave the cult: THE WIRE.Yes, we think it's genius, too. But the 250 million-plus Americans who don't have HBO are getting annoyed at your proselytizing. Cork it.
Most likely to succeed: ADDISON SHEPHERD, Grey's Anatomy.Her rumored spin-off will have everything that made Grey's a hit, minus Meredith's voice-overs-which is a total plus.
Most self-parodic wackjob: ALEC BALDWIN as jack Donaghy, 30 Rock. The squinty blowhard is so Alec, we're waiting for a born-again Republican brother to show up.