Middle-Aged Men on the Block

Music to Our Ears

I hear that New Kids on the Block are getting back together! Their website's been down for years (I'm assuming since the last time someone bought a Jordan Knight T-shirt un-ironically), but is back up and looks hot. Word on the street is a reunion tour sometime this year — and though I'm not running out to buy tickets, I can't wait to see what the guys look like. In elementary school, I fell hard for a certain band member. It wasn't dreamy brothers Jordan or Jonathan, or perfectly blue-eyed Joey, or the Wahlberg. I liked Danny, the one who looked sort of like the lovechild of Ben Stiller and a chimp. I knew Danny wasn't a fan favorite, but that only made me pine for him harder — this way, I figured, I had a chance with him; I knew it was my way to beat out the girls who filled stadiums, screaming (girls older than me, who were allowed to wear lipstick). So unlike the haters, I'm thrilled NKOTB might reunite — if only so I can see how Danny’s doing.