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My Five Most-Wanted Fake Books

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My Five Most-Wanted Fake Books

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In a recent plotline for ABC’s soap All My Children, the character Kendall Hart wrote a book called Charm! It was concurrently released in real-life bookstores (with Hart’s name and photo on the cover, since the real author is being kept a secret). It went on to score the 13th slot on the New York Times best-seller list. Ridiculous? That’s what I thought. Here are a few other titles we’d like to see from characters with a story to tell.

Beet Farming, Cat Freezing, and Cultivating Intimate Personal Relationships for Dummies
—Dwight K. Shrute

The Veteran’s Guide to Natural-Looking Plastic Surgery
Rock of Love’s Daisy

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Guide: What To Do When You’re Stuck on a Possessed Island and Your Crush Likes Someone Else
—Dr. Jack Shepherd

When You Do Give a Damn: Taking Another Chance on Love
—Rhett Butler

Plucked to Perfection: Taming the Unibrow
Sesame Street’s Bert
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