Recently, I sat opposite a man I briefly dated on the bus, and I found the experience so uncomfortable and stressful that I texted at least 11 separate people about it even though it lasted all of seven minutes. From which I must conclude: It's a very good thing I'm not famous! Allow me to direct you towards exes Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner's Tuesday night appearance on The Late Late Show with James Corden, in which Jenner observed the potential for discomfort and decided to crank it up to infinity by asking Styles which songs he wrote about her. I've reached two conclusions: 1. Jenner and Styles are both a delights, and 2. Fame! Not for me!
Here's some context: Styles and Jenner were engaged in a game of "Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts," in which they took turns to ask each other personal questions. If either declined to answer a question, they were obligated to eat one of the foods on the table between them—which included "bug trifle" and a "salmon smoothie."
Things were awkward from the start: Jenner was tasked with ranking her siblings in terms of parenting abilities, placing Rob Kardashian at the top and Kourtney at the bottom. But the game got really serious when Jenner asked Styles, "Which songs on your last album were about me?"
Styles wasted little time in tucking a napkin into his shirt, electing to eat cod sperm rather than answer the question. It took him quite some time to raise the fork to his mouth, however; he asked the audience, as he contemplated the sperm, "What are we doing? What are we doing?"
Once the sperm was in his mouth, thoroughly chewed, Styles uttered one of the Bard of Avon's most immortal lines: "To spit or to swallow? That is the question." He spat, eventually, and I am no longer interested in eating for the rest of the day.
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