Here at Marie Claire, we love a good book just as much as we love a good go-to outfit. But between busy schedules and the curveballs life throws at us, it's not so easy to make it to book club IRL. That's why we've come up with a way for you to get some much-needed reading done on your own time (but still be held accountable to finish!) and meet some new friends along the way—straight from your couch.

#ReadWithMC is an online monthly book club created by the Marie Claire editors. We'll pick a book, you'll read it. Then, we'll curate a collection of honest, authentic reviews and recommendations from you and other #ReadWithMC participants and publish them on the site. Consider it socializing without actually socializing because, really, we all just want to take off our bra and lay down after a long day.

Before the new month begins, we'll reveal our selection right in this article, along with an exclusive excerpt of the book so you can get excited to read.

Buy the book, then start reading with us on the 1st (or before, if you want to get a little head start). Submit your reviews on Twitter or Instagram by the 28th with the hashtag #ReadWithMC to potentially have your review featured* on the site.

You can submit your review via your personal Twitter or Instagram account, but your profile must be public for us to see the hashtag and have it considered for the site. Or you can simply leave your review on one of our #ReadWithMC Instagram posts. You can also share your real-time maybe-not-fully-formulated-into-a-review thoughts on the book throughout the month and see how far along other #ReadWithMC readers are by tweeting or posting using the hashtag.

If you're a member of the Goodreads community, you can follow us below for updates or sign up here.

The official reviews are posted on the 1st of the month. (So, the reviews of October's book will be published on November 1.) A nice way to give recommendations to women who are looking to add to their reading list, but may not have joined #ReadWithMC yet.

What book are we reading this month?

Starting October 1, we'll be reading The Night She Disappeared by Lisa Jewell. Read an excerpt from the book here.

We will be reading relatively new books, i.e. books published within the past few months—most will be novels, but some may be memoirs or essay collections. No matter what, we guarantee they'll make you laugh, smile, cry, take down the patriarchy, or all of the above. Last month, we read Helen Hoang's The Heart Principle. This interactive book club is exclusively composed of women authors, and you can find a collection of book reviews here. 

November's book will be announced on October 25, so you'll have enough time to purchase the book before the reading begins on the 1st.

Questions? Tweet us @marieclaire. Happy reading!

*Reviews may be condensed and edited for clarity, and will be chosen based on content and volume. If you submit a review with the hashtag #ReadWithMC, you agree to be considered for inclusion in a collection of reviews on the site. Only reviews submitted by the 28th of each month will be considered.

Dolly Parton, literal angel (in life and on our TV screens this holiday season), talks about her spiritual practice, her wig collection, and bringing joy to others with the heavenly RuPaul.

These small businesses—one from each state—offer gift ideas for everyone on your list this season.

So there won’t be any real holiday parties this season. No matter. Get inspired by the chicest fetes of yore and throw yourself the ultimate house party.

Fans from a new digitally savvy generation are putting their stamp on the traditional greeting-card business.

This year was tumultuous, trying, and, frankly, terrible. Meena Harris explores how we can feel happiness once more.

The actress, activist, entrepreneur, and mom is ready to talk. Read here.

Where would our country be if women had never won the right to vote? Read here.

Non-basic clothing, even if you do love basic coffee. Read here.

If Kamala Harris makes history this November, her husband, Doug Emhoff, will too. Meet the man who could be America’s first second gentleman (or whatever he’s going to be called). Read here.

Styling baby hair is an art in itself. Here, a celebration of loops, swoops, and swirls. Read here.

All around you, snoops are compiling every fact about you: Your name—child’s play. Your occupation—just as easy. Where you live, yes, but also if you tend to spend nights at your we’re-not-defining-it’s place. What you buy, who you’ll likely vote for in the presidential election, and the exact distance between your eyes. Who are these spies? Your phone. Your computer. The smart home device that tells you the weather.

Across the Internet, trackers are in hot pursuit of your information, trailing behind in the virtual shadows every time you add a blouse to your shopping cart, angry Tweet, or search an embarrassing medical question—collecting bread crumbs to take advantage of you later.

Illustration: Claire McCracken

Your private, personal data is under attack. It’s being tracked, mined, archived, shared, and sold. In 2020, each and every tidbit about you—all of your intimate details and idiosyncrasies—is currency that can be more valuable than the dollar, the way it’s gathered more obscure than Bitcoin. Some companies (apps, search engines) have it—often, you give them access without realizing—and others (marketers, consumer brands) want it desperately.

The collecting of personal data isn’t always nefarious, and you may be just fine blindly and blithely giving it away. In fact, companies can use your data to make your life easier and more convenient, creating tailored shopping suggestions, navigating you to the closest coffee shop, and recommending videos you might enjoy. Innocent enough. Except that certain entities don’t just use your data; they abuse it.

No one is safe. But for some—especially women and those in minority groups—this surreptitious infiltration results in more than annoying ads: It could mean being denied housing. It could mean some of your sensitive health info, like HIV status, is spilled. It could mean losing your job for being pregnant. Women drive the majority of U.S. purchasing power, making their data prized and more likely to be hunted. If their information is sold or stolen, they face increased risks, like being stalked by an abusive ex. For women and people of color, the ubiquitous and unregulated invasion of privacy happening in the U.S. could mean life or death.

It’s all quite Orwellian, but you don’t have to surrender to Big Brother. Ahead, we explore and expose privacy’s darkest secrets. What we found may be shocking, but it’s also illuminating. With a few swipes, taps, keystrokes, and perhaps strongly worded emails to your elected representatives, your personal information can be returned to its rightful owner: you.

The multihyphenate reflects on her past (including her coming out story in this magazine), the present movement for Black trans lives, and how she’s shaping the future of Hollywood. Read it here.

Michelle Obama, Meghan Markle, Condoleezza Rice, and 97 more inspiring women share what motivates them to head to the polls in November. Read it here.

Accessories Director Julia Gall takes Gucci's Jackie 1961 bag for a spin. Read it here.

Lipsticks aren’t canceled in quarantine. Marie Claire’s beauty editors share the lip hues that instantly boost their moods—even under a mask. Read it here.

Vanessa Pappas is TikTok’s secret weapon, leading the unequivocally popular—and controversial—app into a future unknown. Read it here.

Three of musical theater’s biggest stars pull back the curtain on the rampant tokenism and racism in the industry. Read it here.

Solo home ownership? It’s for the girls. Despite the fact that we still make, on average, 80 cents to our male coworkers’ dollar, single women far outpace their male counterparts in purchasing homes. A rising demographic since the 1980s, single women made up 17 percent of home buyers last year. (Their single male counterparts accounted for around 9 percent.) They are one of the fastest-growing groups of homeowners today.

There’s plenty of evidence that this stems from choice: One 2018 report by Bank of America found that 73 percent of women value home ownership above getting married and having children, compared with 65 percent of men. It’s worth noting that men are incarcerated at nine times the rate women are, leaving, quite simply, fewer of them as possible buyers in their demographics.

Intrigued by this, Marie Claire and House Beautiful spent the past six months talking to women who own their own home across the country, including through an original survey of single female homeowners that explores what, how, and why single ladies are buying now.

Who Are These Women?

To oversimplify it: All women. Marie Claire and House Beautiful surveyed a demographically representative sample of American women between 18 and 60 years old and found that 17 percent of them had purchased a home without a spouse or romantic partner. Perhaps that has to do with our current employment status. Today, there are more women in the workplace than ever before. And they're buying homes no matter their salary. Twenty-eight percent of single female homeowners in our survey—the highest faction—reported earnings of between $25,000 and $49,999 a year, while 20 percent make $50,000 to $74,999 and just 2 percent bring home more than $200,000.

They also range in age. According to the National Association of Realtors, the median age of today’s single female home buyer is 54, indicating a swell of boomers buying alone, either as divorcées or having never been married. But there’s also a healthy group on the younger end of the age spectrum that’s choosing to enter home ownership solo for the first time—34 percent of our survey-takers purchased their place when they were between ages 18 and 29; 40 percent between 30 and 39.

This younger group of women have been subject to much analysis—and, it’s fair to say, more than a little public hand-wringing. They're from a generation where marriage is happening later and later, if at all. The disparity in single female and male home ownership within this age group suggests that women, unlike their male peers, aren’t waiting for marriage (or even partnership) to buy a home.

Changing the Fairytale

For many women, the decision to purchase a house means dispelling a mysteriously still-prevalent notion that doing so should come after love and marriage.

“To be honest, I might have thought at this point, in my late 20s, I’d be making a decision about buying my first place with someone,” recalls 34 year-old Jemea Goso of the decision to purchase her first home in D.C. five years ago. “I didn’t feel bad about it at all, I kind of just had to rethink my game plan.”

When Rebecca Scholand was looking to buy a home in New Hampshire three years ago, she was dating someone—but regardless, “it was definitely my house,” she says. “I went into it with the mindset of this was 100-percent my house, and when he was there”—her boyfriend at the time worked as a climbing guide, so was often traveling—“he paid me rent.”

Since then, Scholand has become engaged, and her fiancé lives in the home she bought, as do his two daughters. But she remains glad she made the decision to purchase on her own.

Planning for the Future

It’s that same sense of preparedness that drove Tia Bennett to purchase a home on her own in Riverdale Park, Maryland, just outside of Washington, D.C. “When I think back to my 20s and early 30s, the ideal was finding a Prince Charming, getting married, starting a family, and living happily ever after,” says Bennett. “Honestly, I held off on buying a home because, just like many women, I thought I’d have [the fairytale] first, then go into homeownership with my spouse. But that never happened—and then time just starts passing you by. So when I hit my mid- to late-30s I decided to create my own happy ending.”

Another factor in her decision? The prospect of motherhood. “I am considering becoming a choice mom, and I wanted to have something that was my own,” says Bennett, who froze her eggs shortly before closing on her home last year. “I wanted someplace that was stable, where I could raise a child. The reality is, I’m not alone. In today’s society more women in their late-30s and early-40s are opting to make their dreams reality on their own without a mate.”

Jessica Lautz, vice president of demographics and behavioral insights for the National Association of Realtors, points to the act of caregiving as a significant factor for single women buying homes. Indeed, according to the Pew Research Center, some 21 percent of children live with single mothers, compared to just 4 percent with single fathers. “Even if she doesn’t have young children, she likely is a caregiver in another way,” Lautz explains. “Maybe she has children over 18 who still live with her, or maybe she’s caring for an older parent.”

Managing Money

Of course, women's specific reasons for buying a home are as varied as the home styles and prices available, but money is a huge factor. Thirty-one percent of survey respondents listed their reason for buying as “I’m making enough to afford a mortgage on my own;” 29 percent cited the favorable market; 26 percent said that “real estate is always a good investment,” while 15 percent bought their own place after a breakup or divorce.

“For me, it was a combination of wanting an investment and knowing that, when I did the calculations, for me to rent a nicer apartment would have cost me what a mortgage would cost,” explains Alexa Klorman, who closed on her one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan in December 2018.

Nikki Merkerson purchased her first home solo at age 29, then rented it out because she couldn’t afford to live in it—but she still wanted to be an owner. She then went on to found Pair Gap, a hub for collaborative buying, to encourage more young people—male and female—to buy homes earlier.

“Don’t think of it in the traditional way: When I get married and have kids, I’ll buy a house,” she says. “Think of it as an investment opportunity and a way of not starting your life in the negatives. Now, millennials are starting their lives $30,000-plus in debt. If they’re renting, they should consider buying. And if they can’t do it themselves, get with friends, buy something together, and build wealth early.”

“A lot of people think they can’t afford to buy,” Merkerson says. “But if you’re renting right now, you’re paying a mortgage—it’s just not yours.”

As Jamie Chappell, who just closed on a home in the San Francisco area, points out, your first investment doesn’t have to be your forever home. “A lot of my friends will say, ‘I want to own a home but I like my freedom,’” says Chappell. “One friend said to me, ‘It doesn’t have to be forever.’ And that really stuck with me.”

Getting Responsible

With ownership, of course, comes added responsibility—a reality that every woman we spoke to was acutely aware of. “The other day a friend called me and said, ‘Are you home?’ I was like, ‘No—why, is it on fire?’” recalls Nzinga Young, nervous about being responsible for the New Jersey home she bought last year. Young is also a landlord, renting out part of the home to subsidize the mortgage, which adds extra pressure. “There’s a level of responsibility that comes with ensuring another family is comfortable in the home,” she says.

Of our survey responders, 30 percent cited being able to afford the mortgage alone as the biggest source of nervousness about the process, while 24 percent said they were most worried about “taking on the responsibilities of repairs/renovations alone.”

But still, every interviewee spoke of the sense of pride and accomplishment that came out of their purchase. “It’s like an extension of my person at this point,” says Emily Palen, who bought her Lewisburg, PA, home in 2016 at age 24. “When something goes wrong with the house it affects me in a lot of ways. It’s mine and I want to make it okay, and it’s my shelter and my project. So it’s definitely emotional, but most of the time in a really good way.”

Says Klorman, following her one-bedroom purchase (which was followed by an extremely extensive gut renovation), “Sometimes I look around and I’m like, I can’t believe I pulled this off. And with the added layer that the money I used came from a business I built. Sometimes I pause and just think, ‘This is crazy.’”

Researching in Advance

For those willing to put in the work, buying a home is clearly not crazy. It’s just about finding reliable sources—and having the time to do so. “There is no shortage of information,” says Scholand, who took mortgage classes provided by QuickenLoans online (the company's extensive resources were one reason she chose a mortgage with them).

“I think money is such a taboo topic that there’s so much you don’t learn,” says Casey Miller, who bought her first home in Detroit in 2013. “It’s a great opportunity to have really honest conversations with friends and family members.” Miller, like many of her fellow interviewees, says she found much of her information online.

“You have to do your research, have your finances together,” says Carmelita Pickett, who has owned homes in Texas, Virginia, and Georgia. She’s one of several people interviewed who cautioned prospective buyers to be aware of hidden money sucks besides the down payment and mortgage itself, like closing costs and inspection fees. “I never considered that at my closing, I’d have to buy whatever fuel was left over in the tank,” laughs Scholand.

The biggest takeaway for many of our interviewees? It’s never too early to start planning. “Our favorite clients are the people who come to us two years out and want us to help them save, help them prepare,” says Danielle Lurie, founder of an all-female realty team at Compass that empowers women to buy early.

Beyond understanding your own finances, there are a wide range of mortgage, loan, and assistance options worth investigating before you begin your search. Homeowner Beth Diana Smith received a $5,000 grant from her New Jersey town to buy her first place, and Palen was eligible for a Veterans United mortgage thanks to her stepfather’s military service. Through a well-researched combination of loans and assistance programs, Nasozi Kakembo put down just $0.73 at her home’s closing.

There's also the power of negotiation. Research shows women consistently aim lower than their male counterparts when it comes to things like asking for raises—and are more likely to underestimate their own skills, performance, and worth. “Sometimes women undervalue themselves,” says Lurie. “So we really try to empower them to negotiate if they can. Sometimes they can’t. But if we can, we want to push.”

The New Normal

So what does the future look like for this growing demographic? “I think what we’re going to see in the future is more single people overall—females, males, unmarried couples,” says Lautz. “It doesn’t matter if you’re married; you want a place of your own. Whether that’s with roommates, a partner...people are going to be making the biggest financial decision of their life without a wedding ring.”

If you like it, we should say, then put a down payment on it.

How many face products do you own? Not just the stuff you use regularly, but all of it: the subscription-box samples, the serum your friend swears by, the mask your Instagram feed practically force-fed you. “The world of skincare has just exploded, but it’s important to take a step back and think, ‘What’s your end game? What are you trying to change?’” says New York City dermatologist Dendy Engelman. “If you’re already happy with your skin, then maintain and protect it. You don’t need to add new products unless you have a problem you want to fix.”

And if you do have a problem, you can’t just start trying random lotions, essences, and scrubs without a strategy. “I’ve found that so many of the products in people’s medicine cabinets are there to fix things they did to themselves with other products,” says Boston dermatologist Ranella Hirsch. With that in mind, the editors at Marie Claire put together an everything guide to skincare right now, from how to get a doctor’s help with your skin concerns if you live in a “dermatologist desert” to the new super-niche brands laser focused on your complexion’s specific needs.

Do yourself a solid and take a week to reset your complexion this year, using the steps below. Your skin will thank you.

Step 1: Do a One-Week Skincare Reset

If you like the way your complexion looks, skip to step 3. But, if you have any type of irritation, redness, rash, breakout, or excessive dryness or oiliness, this refresh will help make sure it’s not caused by a product. For a week, pare back to the basics: Stay out of the sun and use a gentle cleanser and moisturizer that don’t contain fragrance or active ingredients such as over-the-counter drugs, essential oils, vitamins, acids, anti-agers, antioxidants, or skin brighteners.

Our Favorite Gentle Cleansers

“Depending on what you were using, you might look worse before you look better,” says Dr. Hirsch, who notes that vitamin A derivatives like retinoids work on a deeper level, so their effects may take longer to purge. “But if you have an issue caused by a product, it will usually clear up in about a week.”

Step 2: Find Your Basics

After your reset week, it’s pretty safe to assume any remaining issues you have are not caused by a product. Now’s the time to take a good look in the mirror. If you like what you see, keep using the same cleanser and moisturizer. (If not, you may need to swap them for products with active ingredients; keep reading.)

Our Favorite Everyday Moisturizers

Step 3: Wear Sunscreen

This may be the only additional product you need. If you’re vigilant about using
SPF, it can do more than maintain your skin. “People think of sunscreen as protective, but it’s also corrective,” explains Dr. Engelman. “In studies where people applied sunscreen regularly, the degree of aging slowed and hyperpigmentation decreased. It was truly miraculous.” That means SPF is the best anti-aging treatment you can buy, hands down.

Our Favorite No-Sting Sunscreens

Step 4: Consider Using an Antioxidant Serum

Opinions vary, but most dermatologists consider an antioxidant serum a basic because it offers an added layer of skin protection against pollution and sun damage. “It’s an insurance policy when worn under sunscreen,” says Dr. Engelman. Look for one that contains vitamins C and E. A serum with antioxidant-rich botanical ingredients (green tea, for example) or other antioxidants such as ferulic acid can work too. Or you could swap that gentle moisturizer for one that has antioxidants built in. (They likely won’t be in as high a concentration as they would be in the serum.) Remember: Any new product you introduce could trigger a new skin issue, in which case go back to step 1.

Step 5: Treat Acne (If You Have It)

For people with blemishes, all other skincare matters are secondary. Find an expert you trust (ideally a dermatologist); make sure she asks a ton of questions about your lifestyle, your diet, and the products you use; and then stick to the regimen you both agree on. “There are multiple pathogenic factors for acne, and the best approach is to combine different products and drugs with complementary mechanisms of action to address as many of those causes as possible,” says New York City dermatologist Joshua Zeichner. If that sounds complicated, that’s because it is. The treatment process often takes trial and error and time (some drugs take up to seven months to be fully effective, Dr. Zeichner notes), but if you stick with it, you will see improvement.

Step 6: Identify Any Other Skin Concerns You Have

This is where things get tricky. Look at your skin and make a list of things you’d like to change. Thinking, “I don’t know—I just want to look better!” won’t cut it. The key to great skin is feeling great about your skin; you have to ID what’s bothering you in order to fix it. If you need help making your list, find a picture of yourself when you were happier with your complexion and figure out what changed. Was your texture smoother then? Do you have more spots now? Did your pores seem less noticeable then? Is your skin redder now? This process may seem reductive, but think about it: Why use a sheet mask here or a face oil there if you don’t have a specific problem to solve?

Step 7: Know When to See a Dermatologist

If your list of skin concerns includes deep creases, hollow areas under eyes, under-eye bags that protrude enough to cast shadows, gauntness, a double chin, or a soft or jowly jawline, visit a dermatologist. You could see a slight improvement from nonprescription topical products, but these issues are notoriously tough to treat, and expert advice and nonsurgical (or surgical) procedures may be in order.

For everything else, skincare can help. “Most products these days are well labeled if you take the time to look at the adjectives on the packaging and read the claims,” says Dr. Hirsch. To treat fine lines, look for terms like anti-wrinkle; if you have dullness or spots, you want brightening; if you’re oily, find something mattifying; if you have blackheads, go for clarifying. You get the idea. If you don’t, consider buying a personalized regimen: Atolla formulates products based on a quiz and a three-part at-home diagnostic test that identifies your skin type, and it helps you track changes. Other options include Skinsei and Curology.

Some final advice: If you can’t tell what a product does—or the instructions are vague, it doesn’t state what improvements to expect, or it makes claims that aren’t backed by clinical tests—then it probably isn’t worth your money.

A version of this story appeared in the Holiday 2019 issue of Marie Claire.

You're not imagining it: We really are suffering from anxiety more than ever before. According to the American Psychiatric Association’s annual poll, 39 percent of Americans reported higher levels of anxiety in 2018 than in the year before. And women are twice as likely to experience anxiety as men. But don’t let your feelings crush you. You're not alone: Adele, Demi Lovato, Jennifer Lawrence, Lady Gaga, Sarah Silverman, and others have spoken publicly about their struggles. And there is hope—right here in Marie Claire’s guide to decoding and demystifying anxiety.

We talked to experts who break down everything going on behind the scenes in your brain and body, round up the latest therapies and treatments, and offer advice and testimonials to help you hack your way to happy. Because the more you understand what you’re feeling and why, the less overwhelming it is and the more you’ll feel like your anxiety is something you can conquer or at least keep in check. So take a deep breath and read on. We promise you’ll feel better.

What are the different types of anxiety disorders?

GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder):

Persistent and excessive worry; diagnosed when someone finds it difficult to control worry for at least six months.

OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder):

Characterized by unwanted thoughts, images, or urges as well as repetitive behaviors a person feels compelled to perform to ease anxiety.

Panic Disorder:

Sudden and intense panic attacks and fear of recurring attacks.

Phobias:

Strong, persistent, irrational fear of places, situations, or objects that pose no threat. Examples: acrophobia, the fear of heights; arachnophobia, the fear of spiders.

PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder):

Anxiety, depression, nightmares, flashbacks, and insomnia following a traumatic event.

Social Anxiety Disorder:

Intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, perceived negatively, the center of attention, or rejected by others.

What’s going on inside the brain and body when you feel anxious?

Adrenaline:

The “fight or flight” hormone controls the immediate reaction to stressful events, eliciting a surge of energy.

Cortisol:

The “stress hormone” controls the longer term reaction, maintaining blood pressure, fluid levels, and bodily functions.

Dopamine:

Known as the “feel good” neurotransmitter because it’s activated by pleasurable things like sex and food.

Norepinephrine:

Like adrenaline and cortisol, this hormone is secreted during stressful events; makes you feel awake and focused.

Serotonin:

This happy-making neurotransmitter is responsible for your mood.

What are the best/most common treatments for anxiety?

ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy):

Teaches patients to be comfortable with the uncomfortable instead of denying the feelings.

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy):

The leading therapy for anxiety; helps patients work through feelings and identify destructive behaviors, changing how they react to stressful situations.

DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy):

Helps change unhealthy behaviors by teaching mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques):

Often called “tapping”; patients focus on a specific emotion while tapping certain points on the body (like acupuncture, minus the needles).

SST (Single-Session Therapy):

A therapist and client meet once to discuss mental health and coping mechanisms; developed after researchers learned many people, upon attending a therapy session, don’t return.

A.S.M.R.

The sound of writing on a chalkboard lulls me into a relaxed state, my back and shoulders tingling. To get the effect, I listen to the Gentle Whispering channel on YouTube, featuring Maria, a Russian-born woman whose classroom lessons in her native language have spared me from countless sleepless nights. Not everyone who watches will experience the delicious tingling sensations of ASMR, but the videos are guaranteed to help you relax—and perhaps learn a bit of Russian. —Blane Bachelor

A.C.T. Therapy

In my 20s, my fear of suffocating devolved into an obsession: I couldn’t eat or take public transport, could barely go to work. In therapy sessions, I was exposed to my triggers—eating, drinking, enclosed spaces—and we’d discuss the rapid breathing, limb numbness, and racing heart that followed. Instead of shaking the feelings, I was taught to experience them to their maximum. Over time, I learned I could endure them, which gradually lessened my fear. —Jenny Hollander

Therapy Apps

The appeal of telepsychology is clear: It’s low-cost and requires no commute. But do the apps work? I test-drove several popular options. Each sends reminders that can be scheduled to work around your day. Most track how often you log in, creating rewards, but can start to feel like another item on your to-do list, and missing one day resets your record back to zero—not ideal for the overachievers among us. Still, they are definitely better for your mental health than Instagram scrolling or candy crushing. —Alyssa Haak

The Top 5 Therapy Apps Out There

Baking? Blankets? Not all anxiety solutions require a prescription. Here's a rundown of our favorite alternatives.

This article originally appeared in the July 2019 issue of Marie Claire.

A good rule of thumb is: “When Gwyneth Paltrow starts raving about it, you know that whatever supposedly underground thing you were into is about to go mainstream.” That’s not a knock on Gwyneth Paltrow; she just represents a certain kind of chic, adult woman with disposable income who is susceptible to hype. She's the archetypal Cool Mom, a demographic that can legitimize a business and inject it with money just by thinking something is neat. And nothing better crystallizes this power than seeing what Cool Moms did for cannabidiol, the substance more commonly known as CBD.

A few years ago, around the time the general public caught wise to its ability to curb seizures in people with epilepsy, CBD entered The Wellness Space—a land where everything from hyaluronic acid to crystal sex toys are rocketed to public consciousness (and rake in lots of money) because of their use in ritual self-care. That's how the compound went from a chemical that only weed nerds knew about—though CBD is the part of the cannabis plant that, unlike THC, will not get you high—to an industry projected to be worth $22 billion by 2022. As a result, you can now likely purchase CBD oil in your local health food store. (I shudder to imagine what this will mean for BDSM now that GOOP is selling a $240 leather whip.)

Though my familiarity with weed is roughly as much as the next person who went to art school—so, you know, pretty familiar—I admit I held onto several preconceived notions about CBD until quite recently. Among the things I assumed were:

1. CBD doesn’t actually do anything.
2. CBD is just a way for the male-dominated weed industry to make itself look more legitimate by marketing to women. In that way, it’s actually taking advantage of women because the CBD they’re buying, as I said, doesn’t do anything.
3. By accepting the marketing of CBD as a “wellness” cure-all, women are just apologizing for wanting to get high, a nod to a long history in which we’re supposed to feel bad for doing things just because we think they’re fun.

I was wrong about all of the above, for the record. But it took working on this package to really understand why.

First of all, I was wrong about CBD being all smoke and mirrors. Yes, CBD is being strongly marketed to women, and it’s worth exploring why that is and what it says about our culture right now. But it’s also a substance with far-reaching potential, and a variety of helpful use cases that vary by person. In fact, we don’t even know about some of those uses yet—for example, its potential as a preventative therapy—because CBD’s association with marijuana, as a result of the racist War on Drugs, means that formal research is spotty. Even so, some people claim that CBD has already changed their lives for the better.

Everybody processes CBD differently, because everyone’s endocannabinoid system (the group of neurotransmitters that interpret how cannabis and hemp affect you) is different. This week, we'll be reviewing different CBD products to see whether they really help our different physical ailments.

Second, CBD’s woman-centric marketing isn't purely the result of some bro-led pot industry pinkwashing, and it doesn’t prevent women from accessing the cannabis industry. If anything, it lowers the barrier for more women to enter a space that has been traditionally geared toward men. The CBD market is the first aspect of the burgeoning, multi-billion dollar cannabis industry that seems to put women’s interests and needs first, creating inroads for women to actually work in that space. There's a long way to go on that front: The number of women in leadership positions in CBD has actually decreased as the market becomes more lucrative. But there is hope. Charlotte Palermino of cannabis education site Nice Paper profiled the inspiring women dominating various aspects of the CBD industry and helping other women to do the same. You can read that later this week, too.

Last September, I accepted an invite from cannabis company Papa & Barkley to attend the plant harvest in Humboldt, California—the center of the Emerald Triangle, where cannabis is not just a budding industry but a cultural touchstone. California is (so far) one of 10 states and Washington, D.C. to have fully legalized recreational marijuana, and I went on this trip to see just how communities that have revolved around cannabis since before it was legal were adjusting to the new laws.

But rather than finding a group of deviants plotting to take over the weed world, I met Papa & Barkley’s founder, Adam Grossman, a very nice man who started his company in an effort to help his father, who was suffering from a back condition that eventually put him in hospice care. Their line of products are CBD-forward and, though many contain THC, they’re not for getting high: Papa & Barkley’s most popular products are its Releaf Balms, which are applied topically. They’re not shamey about people who do want to experience the psychoactive side-effects of cannabis, but that’s just not their corner of the market. And everyone who works there seems to genuinely believe in their mission of making people’s lives better through these plants. It was truly touching, and completely challenged what I knew about CBD and wellness.

About a month after I got back, my mom—a breast cancer survivor—and I were on the phone and she told me about a new cream that, for the first time, brought her some relief from the painful neuropathy she experiences in her hands and feet as a result of chemotherapy. It was CBD-based. Of course.

In the stories you’ll find in the ABCs of CBD, Marie Claire editors look at every aspect of this industry—from how it became a staple at the beauty counter and the bar, to an exploration of why casual CBD use highlights major inequalities in the justice system. We dissect the specific legal issues that CBD encounters in each state, and answer every conceivable question you’ve ever had about the substance. (Oh, and there are lots of fun things to buy, too.)

Come with us as we discover what’s really at the heart of this major trend, and see whether any of it might work for you. —Cady Drell

Whenever I’m home with the flu, my instinct is to put on You’ve Got Mail. It’s kind of the perfect movie for being sick in bed: I can immerse myself in a well-lit world where nothing really terrible happens to any of the characters, where witty and attractive and relatable people eventually get what they want. I never want to put on, like, Boogie Nights, which is another movie I love but which has a level of violent uncertainty that I can’t really stomach when I literally can’t stomach anything.

And whenever I admit my love of romantic comedies to my Discerning Male Friends, I always feign sheepishness. Yeah, I know it’s a rom-com, but I can defend this one on some kind of intellectual merit! You can still trust my cultural taste despite my susceptibility to the saccharine!

But if I take even 30 seconds to think about it, that inclination is problematic—embarrassingly so. Romantic comedies typically focus on the lives of women, and henceforth, we are trained by our culture to take them a lot less seriously. They must be fluff, because that’s what women want to watch! If we like them in a genuine way, we do so with the tacit understanding that we have somehow been duped into caring about a work of less consequence than a more important piece of Art (frequently made by a man). We risk being labeled intellectually lazy. In her essay “The Male Glance,” Lili Loofbourow sums it up this way: “We don’t see complexity in female stories because we have so little experience imagining it might be there.”

Even at the rom-com’s zenith (i.e. the late-80s to mid-90s, which brought us When Harry Met Sally and While You Were Sleeping, among others), so much of the culture writ large refused to seriously engage with the genre. For instance: Though 1993’s Sleepless in Seattle is now considered a total classic of the genre, the era’s preeminent critic, Roger Ebert, in his lukewarm review, called it “contrived” and “unapologetically romantic” (it wasn’t a compliment). Rom-coms were viewed as unserious by design, and while we could shrug that off as an oversight now, it had real market consequences. Eventually studios stopped taking these movies seriously, too, and started pumping out rom-coms that spoke less to genuine female thought and more to fantasy fulfillment by committee (think Rumor Has It, Failure to Launch, even How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is guilty). At the rom-com’s nadir, the once-great genre became downright unrecognizable, often overly silly and cringingly problematic (I hesitate to even type the words Bride Wars, The Ugly Truth, or All About Steve).

Who cares if the characters are complex and whole, so long as there’s a shopping montage? (That is not to knock the shopping montage; I’m just saying it doesn’t have to come at the expense of character development.) And then, because half-baked odes to the gals (hello, Valentine’s Day and Confessions of a Shopaholic) weren’t heralded by the audiences to which they excruciatingly pandered—go figure—eventually the same studios stopped making those movies, too. And just like that, there were fewer female-centric stories in the world.

But we did get a lot of superhero movies! These should be considered the silliest movies of all (they are about flying guys with magic fighting powers and daddy issues) but instead, not only are superhero flicks consistently made, they often elicit serious critical engagement. Even when the criticism is negative, its constructive—implying that these movies have the capacity to get better.

Of course, I know that women can and do like superhero movies, but it’s a genre that has, inarguably, been male-focused since its comic book origins. But that’s okay, because men are allowed to want to be invincible and world-saving, and they should get to live that fantasy when they go to the movies. Men’s fantasies are noble, and since movies that cater to them are the only blockbusters that seem to get made, they come with the added bonus of having their own good taste reinforced.

But that’s starting to change. A romantic comedy renaissance is upon us, and the stories are both more diverse and more complicated than they were during the last surge. Maybe it’s because the market—based on a lot of factors both cultural and political—has started to shift toward unapologetic female narratives. And it turns out, you can tell stories about women that are pleasant to watch without ignoring their actual struggles! (Women knew this all along but it’s nice that mainstream industry is catching up.)

After all, the female fantasies that romantic comedies often embody serve an important purpose. Sure, Nancy Meyers movies are basically kitchen porn, and when I watch them I fantasize about being the kind of person who can maintain white linens. But I’m privileged. Those same movies can also offer a fantasy in which women are, say, not subjected to the constant threat of violence and misogyny, or simply where they’re not ignored. Is the desire to identify with a woman who gets to say something without interruption less lofty than the desire to identify with a billionaire inventor who saves the world with his cool rocket suit? Oh certainly. But it speaks to something a lot more pressing.

So this week, Marie Claire is going to take romantic comedies really seriously. Not that we’re going to stop laughing at the jokes—the jokes are the point!—but we want to engage with these movies as genuine cultural artifacts that tell stories about women for women. For the next week, we’re going to look at rom-coms and the themes they explore, where they’re going, and the ways they’ve defined us. Being critical about when they’ve succeeded and how they’ve failed may help open the door for the wider culture to take rom-coms seriously. And then, who knows! Maybe women’s lives will even get taken seriously!

Let’s not jinx it. Please join us for Rom-Com Week, right here on MarieClaire.com. —Cady Drell

Everything You Ever Wanted to Read About Rom-Coms

Neither one of us is a mom. But that doesn't mean we don't think about our fertility. As 30-ish-year-old-women, we are, like many of you, bombarded by the reality of our own childlessness every day. 

We are surrounded by baby bumps and strollers on the subway and inundated with pregnancy announcements and pictures of 3-D sonograms on our social feeds. Targeted Facebook ads have suggested we should freeze our eggs; doctors—even well-intentioned acquaintances—have told us it would be better to freeze embryos. Tearful friends have divulged their miscarriages; one of us has suffered her own. Millennial women like us have been warned for years about the impending death of our fertility: Get pregnant now or forever hold your peace.

The most intimate of subjects, often accompanied by shame and confusion, fertility is rarely talked about openly. There’s an overwhelming amount of information available and, yet, not enough. Women don’t know who to talk to when things go awry, but strangers feel comfortable asking, “And when are you having kids?” the second you tie the knot. Many young women are still deciding if they even want children. Many more desperately do—but sometimes, it’s simply not that simple.

How do we change all this? We started with a survey. In partnership with SurveyMonkey, Marie Claire asked about 2,000 women to talk honestly about fertility. Though 17 percent of Millennial women told us they do not want children, 45 percent already have kids or are actively trying to conceive, and the remaining women said they plan to become mothers in the future. Still, 49 percent of Millennial women also said they had delayed having children because they were not financially ready—a number nearly twice that of Gen-X women. Millennials were more likely to delay childbearing than the generation above them for every response option, including focusing on their career (33 percent) and feeling like they hadn't yet found the right partner (26 percent).

When we're not delaying children, plenty of us are struggling to have them. More than one-third of respondents between ages 18 and 35 have suffered a fertility issue, whether that be a miscarriage, multiple miscarriages, or more than a year spent trying to conceive. It's a problem that knows no boundaries: Across ethnicities women were equally likely (within a few percentages points) to have gone through each of the aforementioned experiences with infertility, and more non-white women said they had undergone or were considering fertility treatments than their white peers. Nor is it a topic reserved for America's one-percent. Women with a household income below $75,000 are considering or pursuing therapies to help them get pregnant at nearly the same rate as households making more than $150,000.

So, no, having a baby when you want one isn't as easy as it seems (nearly a quarter of Millennial women said social media sets unrealistic expectations about fertility). Luckily, there are more ways to become a parent than ever before. While women ages 18 to 35 are more open than Gen-Xers to pursuing every fertility treatment option—including IVF (31 percent versus 25 percent), donor eggs (13 percent versus 4 percent), even surrogacy (23 percent versus 9 percent)—they were by far most interested in adoption. Forty-eight percent of Millennial women told us that if they found out they could not conceive naturally, they would or had considered adopting (just 34 percent of Gen-X women said the same).

We're here to commiserate—and, hopefully, help. We talked to top experts, doctors, and real patients to break down every aspect of a woman's potential fertility journey. When it comes to getting pregnant, there’s a lot that’s out of your control. But being informed isn't. So consider this your map for the zig-zagging path to parenthood. And just remember: This is supposedly the easy part.

Editors’ note: We use the terms “woman” and “female” in this article to refer to people with internal reproductive organs; however we understand that not everyone with internal reproductive organs identifies as a woman or a female. We use the terms “man” and “male” to refer to people with external reproductive organs; however we understand that not everyone with external reproductive organs identifies as a man or a male.

*This Survey Monkey survey was conducted August 9‐10, 2018 among a national sample of 1,999 adult women. Respondents for this survey were selected from over 2 million people who take surveys on the SurveyMonkey platform each day. The modeled error estimate for this survey is plus or minus 2.5 percentage points. Data have been weighted for age, race, education, and geography using the Census Bureau’s American Community Survey to reflect the demographic composition of the UnitedStates age 18 and over.

By many accounts, 2017 was a garbage fire: An accused sexual predator was elected to the White House, natural disasters seemed a near daily occurrence, mass shootings continued to plague our country, and—oh—it turns out that men don't know how to interact with women without assaulting them.

But enough—let's talk about the few bright spots: Adele breaking her Grammy for Beyoncé! Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's engagement! Wonder Woman! The solar eclipse! (Technically that last one was a dark spot, but you know what we mean.)

On MarieClaire.com, we had many big moments of our own. Before we all bid a much-needed adieu to 2017, here are our highlights.