Lovelies:
Since getting older (and wiser) has been a theme this week, I decided to ask some of my guy friends how THEY feel about getting older.
I was thinking: It's no secret that women feel insecure about aging--we worry about wrinkles, droopy boobies, gaining weight, going gray, on and on and on. But surely, the MENS of the world also anxious about some of the ways their bodies are changing as they get older ... don't they?
So let's get those male aging fears out on the table--so women will know they are not alone! (And other men will too!)
In this spirit, I send a note out to maybe twenty of my dude-friends, saying:
i'd love to hear what bums you out most about aging. thinning or receding hair? gray hair? a flat tire? wrinkles? smelly feet? (come on--it's okay--you know you have them.) something all together different? what?
almost immediately, i got about seven emails back. all of them said more or less the same thing:
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
Maura! did you mean a SPARE tire? :-) Oh, and I'm not insecure about anything. I'm gonna get a little fat and bald one day--who cares?
And I thought:
Ah, you mens. You really do have it better than we ladies!
But a day or two passed, and finally--finally!--one brave man, 34-year-old Solo Butler*, wrote back with the truth.
Here's what he said:
Sure, there are plenty of visible effects of aging. I don't like the wrinkles around my eyes, for instance,** and it requires a lot more effort to lose weight or stay in shape than it did in my 20s.
But, let's face it, if we're talking about external attractiveness, men get a much better deal out of aging than women do.***
And yet there's one very definite but not immediately obvious effect men suffer as they get older: We men move so quickly past our sexual peak it's almost embarrassing. It's over before we've really learned what we're doing in bed. When I was in my early to mid 20s, it was easy to have sex 2-3 times a night, night after night. After an orgasm, I could get another erection in 20-25 minutes. These days, in my mid-30s, there's no problem getting that first erection, but afterwards, it might take an hour before I'm really ready to go again, and there's very little chance I'm going to be good for anything past round 2. This is one area (and there are others) where I really envy women: They CAN go all night, and aging has no effect on that. In fact, it probably helps them, because they're often more comfortable with their bodies and with sex as they get more experienced, and they probably hit their sexual peak in their mid-30s. So for guys, it's just a little harder to keep up. ...
This, frankly, was rather shocking--and slightly upsetting--news for me. I've never had sex with anyone older than 30, ever! (I almost always date younger. Or, well, I'll GO on dates with older dudes, but I never end up having sex with them.)
So ... I don't know about you guys, but I personally am getting on the horn--hmmm, NOW-ish?--and calling that twenty-four-year-old I met a few weeks ago at a party ...
----------------------
*His porn-star name, of course.
**Perhaps he should try Botox?
***Amen to that, yo.
-
Prince William Single-Handedly Planned His and Kate Middleton’s Romantic Honeymoon
Kate had no idea where they were headed on their two week luxurious break from reality until after their 2011 wedding.
By Rachel Burchfield Published
-
Bitten Lips Took Center Stage at Dior Fall 2024 Show
Models at the Dior Fall 2024 show paired bitten lips with bare skin, a beauty trend that will take precedence this season.
By Deena Campbell Published
-
Princess Diana Revealed to a Royal Author the Real Reason Why Her Marriage to Prince Charles Ended Not Long Before She Died in 1997
And no, it apparently wasn’t Camilla Parker-Bowles.
By Rachel Burchfield Published
-
The 22 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The best options, for every preference and price range.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
The Best Period Sex Tips, According to Sex Experts
Who says messy can't be sexy?
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
The 20 Best Sex Games for Couples in 2023
Who said game nights need to be wholesome?
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
The 14 Best Lubes for Every Need
Good sex should always go smoothly.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce Published
-
100 Sex Songs That Won't Make You Cringe
Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.
By The Editors Published
-
75 Real Sex Scenes in Movies
These actors aren't faking anything.
By Mehera Bonner Last updated
-
33 Unexpected Valentine's Day 2023 Date Ideas
A.k.a. not dinner and roses.
By The Editors Published