Poor Katie Couric's first mistake was telling Amy Schumer she "loves humor," which Amy Schumer thought was weird diction. Her second was leaving her phone unlocked and unattended while Amy Schumer was in the vicinity. Basically, it was her misfortune to have even met Amy Schumer at all, said Amy Schumer on Jimmy Fallon last night.
The Real Housewife of Cincinnati (opens in new tab) had just beaten Mindy Kaling in an unspoken bread-eating contest when Katie Couric left to go corral husband John Molner, who had shown up to the women-only awards show uninvited. "She left her phone open to texts from him. Don't worry! I didn't do anything," Schumer said. "Except I picked it up, just without even thinking, to text him 'I wanna have anal tonight.' And I sent it."
Then she showed Mindy and Stephen Colbert, they all *literally* started rolling in the aisles, and Katie didn't understand why John wanted to beat a hasty retreat.
But it's so much better when Amy tells it, so watch the clip here.
Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
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