Lovelies:
A reader wrote in yesterday to say that while her burgeoning relationship with some nice guy was great in just about every respect, there was one area in which it was lacking: ze area of ze bedroom. My first thought was: I wonder if the guy she's seeing works out enough?
Most of the men I've been naked with have been pretty serious about staying in shape ... and, not coincidentally, they were also quite up to the physical challenges of getting it on. They weren't meatheads--in fact, most didn't even have a gym membership. But two were fellow urban cyclists (who both also did yoga); one would run mini-marathons when he felt like it; another was in a couple of after-work soccer leagues ... and so on. With all of those men, I felt an amount of chemistry that ranged from quite good to blow-your-head-off great. So I began to assume that sexual chemistry started at the perfectly adequate level and only went up from there.
However, within the last year, I made out with a man whose mind is undeniably incredibly sexy and looks to be in quite good shape--he is tall, broad and trim (with a strong jaw and an appealingly large man's nose). But when we got to smooching, something seemed to be missing for me. When would we get to the part where he picked me up and threw me down? Why were we lying languorously on our sides instead of rolling around a bit more energetically? When would I start to feel really turned on?
Never, as it turned out.
That very sexy man spent so much time thinking up and executing brainy ideas that he never--and I mean never--worked out. And I knew that about him. But because he looked perfectly healthy and slim, it never occurred to me (until after our tepid smooching session) that he might not have much energy or muscular strength, not to mention physical stamina. We spoke about our lack of "chemistry," which he attributed to a difference in styles: that I liked things to be more "intense," while he was a more laid-back lover. In the moment, I accepted that idea.
But now I think: He should go to the gym more! If he had the ENERGY to be more intense, he'd see how much more awesome it is!
About.com has a great little article that lists the sexual benefits of exercise ... but just in case you don't have time to check it out, let me include the best parts here:
5 WAYS THAT EXERCISE IMPROVES YOUR SEX LIFE
xxx
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