11 Things We Won't Ask You to Do to Save Money

1. Grow your own food. (Last time we checked, our dirty-martini tree and molten-chocolate-cake bush weren't exactly thriving.)

2. Attempt at-home spa treatments. No one but a trained professional gets near the lady bits with a bowl of hot wax.

3. Cancel cable. Sometimes Flip This House and a box of Franzia are the only friends you need.

4. Steal.

5. Eat out less. By the time you've driven all over town for that saffron for your seafood risotto, you've blown the $4.25 you'd save by making it yourself.

6. Haggle at Steve & Barry's.

7. Rent out a corner of your 230-foot studio apartment to a German exchange student.

8. Buy a "gently worn" bikini on eBay.

9. Buy your Prozac on Craigslist.

10. Cancel Netflix; invite friends over for a shadow-puppet rendition of National Treasure instead.

11. Start a tinfoil ball.

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