Things About Women That Freak Me Out
I don't think I'll ever understand women. The best I can do is master the things that make sense. I know certain things make girls happy. I know that it's important to give a girl I like attention, to treat her with respect, treat h...
I don't think I'll ever understand women. The best I can do is master the things that make sense. I know certain things make girls happy. I know that it's important to give a girl I like attention, to treat her with respect, treat her how I would want to be treated.
But the other day I was thinking about things about women that I will never understand no matter how much I try to figure them out. Folklore has always preached not to go into the wilderness, because it was the unknown. It is human to fear the unknown.
So, I've listed things I don't understand about women...which basically means: things that freak me out about women:
Converging Menstrual Cycles - One of the most confusing, and miraculous things about women is the phenomenon where they all get on the same menstrual cycle if they are in close quarters together for an extended period of time. I suppose this makes things somewhat more convenient in sorority houses and such. I really don't know. I just don't get why/how it happens. And how long does it take before every girl in a given environment is on the same cycle anyway? A week? A month? I guess it's kind of like how yawning is contagious? I read that menstrual cycles were even linked to the moon cycles.
A Woman's Intuition - How come women are so good at keeping things neat and together? The other day I was demonstrating to my friend how I tied my shoes because she kept making fun of me for them coming untied all the time. She showed me a new method, and suddenly my shoes come untied no more. I think I know how to match things, but when a girl comes along and sets me straight, I realize I just don't have a very good eye for that. No matter how neat I try to be, a girl will always be neater- female grace and precision is powerful, and sometimes intimidating.
Estrogen - This is a chemical that must be kept away from terrorists, and under close supervision. In the wrong hands, evil doers could harness its explosive qualities to do harm to the entire human race. OK, maybe it's not that combustible, but estrogen will always keep me in check. One week I say something that a girl thinks is funny. The next week I say the same thing and she gets really mad at me. Estrogen is so unpredictable.
Tough To Satisfy - I've already told you that men are simple, women are complex-and this transfers to the bedroom. So the G-spot is supposed to be instrumental in bringing a woman to orgasm but no one really knows where it is, and it might not even be a real entity.
Stay In The Know
Get exclusive access to fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more.
The Mothering Instinct - It's fine when a girl is balancing my checkbook or keeping me in line, but sometimes the mothering instinct boils over. Whenever we see a baby, naturally, we'll fawn over how cute the baby is. But then girls around me come out with statements like:
"Oh my god I need a baby now."
"Ugh, I can't wait to have a baby."
I agree, being a parent is going to be an amazing experience, but slow down! I think I need to learn to tie my shoes really well before I have a little one in my life.
The Grudge - Man, can women hold a grudge! Guys have conflict and usually move on pretty fast. But, girls-they don't forget. And getting back in her good graces will take time and energy. I really admire female attention spans. I don't have a long enough attention span to sustain anger for more than 15 minutes.
I hope you don't think I'm disrespectful, I don't mean to be. I'm just writing about things I don't understand, so I'm just making visceral observations. But, if you could choose one thing about guys-behavior, habits-that you don't understand and that you ultimately find odd, what would it be? And don't say our obsession with sports because that's a totally normal obsession!
-
Would You Spend $6,000 a Year for a Lifelong Collagen Reserve?
Save now, glow later.
By Samantha Holender Published
-
We Just Simplified the Cocktail Attire Dress Code
From classic little black dresses to slip skirts to separates.
By Lauren Tappan Published
-
Jude Law Just Recreated Mr. Napkin Head From 'The Holiday' and the Entire Internet Is Swooning
"They keep asking you, 'Is there going to be a sequel?' ... Is that a yes, Jude?"
By Amy Mackelden Published
-
The All-Time Favorite Sex Positions of 11 Real Women
"It makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth."
By The Editors Published
-
The 22 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The vibes are immaculate.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
The 20 Best Sex Games for Couples in 2023
Who said game nights need to be wholesome?
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
The 14 Best Lubes for Every Need
Good sex should always go smoothly.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce Published
-
100 Sex Songs That Won't Make You Cringe
Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.
By The Editors Published
-
33 Unexpected Valentine's Day 2023 Date Ideas
A.k.a. not dinner and roses.
By The Editors Published
-
How to Stay Safe Using Dating Apps and Websites
Did you know your favorite dating apps may be selling your intimate information? Swipe right on privacy with these key safety tips.
By Jenny Hollander Published