About That Marie Claire Tell-All Michelle Obama Interview You Read on The Onion

We were thrilled—and, honestly, a bit surprised—that Mrs. Obama was so unabashed and carefree about her late-night extracurriculars during our exclusive, in-depth interview*. Then again, Marie Claire is used to getting the details about how powerful women do it all. And when the government is shut down, what else are you going to do? You can only have so many humdrum "date nights" re-watching that VHS copy of Annie that George W. and Laura Bush left in the White House movie screening room. We fully support sexual experimentation and women's sexual empowerment, so if this is how the Obamas are spending their early morning hours during the furlough, that's cool. (But we'd really love the country back up and running again, stat, okay? Priorities, people.) #governmentshutdown #getitgirl

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* Marie Claire did not interview Michelle Obama, but we're still trying.

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