
Let's say I lean in for the kiss,” a friend says, “and she pulls away a second too late. Crossing the line?” Another friend remembers the time he asked a woman to go home with him, several times, and she kept saying no. What about implying I wanted a relationship to get a woman in bed? Did that rise to the level of reportable?
How slickly we elided the difference, in other words, between harassment at work and bad behavior on dates. When we read about attempts to force female coworkers to have sex during office hours, we conjured hazy social settings after dark.
How slickly we elided the difference, in other words, between harassment at work and bad behavior on dates.
Why is harassment so uncomfortable for men to talk about? Partly because we can imagine it. As boys, we learned that a major benefit of power was easy sex. When sleepover confabs turned to future famous rock bands, we weren’t writing songs, we were picturing groupies. When we saw porn that involved actresses getting naked on casting couches, we took away that it was women coming to men, asking for something.
Being powerful meant never having to ask. Now, when we talk to each other, we sound nervous. We outgrew our fantasies less quickly than we thought.
Jesse Barron is a journalist for Harper's, Esquire, and The New York Times Magazine
This package appears in the March issues of Esquire and Marie Claire.
SUBSCRIBE NOW (opens in new tab)
-
Prince Harry Could “Make Some Form of Reconciliation” with the Royal Family for the Coronation, Expert Says
…but it would still be “extremely difficult.”
By Rachel Burchfield
-
The Princess of Wales Broke the Queen’s “Golden Rule” By Revealing This Private Detail
It makes sense why Her late Majesty wanted to keep this close to the vest.
By Rachel Burchfield
-
King Charles Brings in Archbishop of Canterbury to Broker Peace Deal Between Prince William and Prince Harry
The King wants Harry at the Coronation; William is apparently less enthused.
By Rachel Burchfield
-
Almost Famous
Half of the Shondaland dream team, the woman whose work brings 'Bridgerton' to life, is one of the most influential producers in Hollywood. And she’s ready for everyone to know it.
By Jessica M. Goldstein
-
Payal Kadakia Is Finally Sharing Her Secret Sauce to Success
In her new book, LifePass, the ClassPass founder gives you the tools to write your own success story.
By Neha Prakash
-
The Power Issue
Our November issue is all about power—having it, embracing it, and dressing for it.
By Marie Claire Editors
-
J. Smith-Cameron Is in Control
She’s Logan Roy’s right hand. She’s Roman’s ‘mommy girlfriend.’ And she’s a fan favorite. Here, the Succession star takes us behind the scenes of Gerri’s boardroom power plays.
By Jessica M. Goldstein
-
What Makes an Olympic Moment?
In the past it meant overcoming struggle...and winning. But why must athletes suffer to be inspiring?
By Megan DiTrolio
-
'The Other Black Girl' Gets Real About Racism in the Workplace
"It really hits home how many spaces don’t allow Black women to really show up as their authentic selves."
By Rachel Epstein
-
Melissa Moore's 'Life After Happy Face' Podcast Looks at Killers Through New Eyes
The true crime expert and daughter of the Happy Face Killer opens up to Marie Claire about destigmatizing the label of 'criminal's kid.'
By Maria Ricapito
-
Simone Biles on Her GOAT Leotard: Don't Be Ashamed of Being Great
The world's greatest gymnast shares how she takes care of her mental health, the road to Tokyo, and the story behind her epic new leotard style.
By Megan DiTrolio