13 Things We've Learned from Living Alone

Charlie Schuck
1.

Blouses that button up the back are Satan's greatest triumph.

2.

It's amazing how quickly one person can go through a roll of toilet paper.

3.

OMG, the hair in the drain is all yours.

4.

Dinner tastes better eaten pants-less, standing at the sink.

5.

A Slim Jim and a Snack Pack pudding make for a really satisfying meal.

6.

Alone time makes you philosophical: If I eat this wedge of cheesecake and no one is here to see it, did I really eat it?

7.

It's easy to go 48 hours without speaking.

8. Things You Can Now Do Naked:

Dice, disinfect, dust, vacuum, hang, knit, crosswords, read, play Wii, shop online, bank online, blog, file taxes, prune indoor garden, macrame, sweep, whittle, blow glass, watercolor, glaze, sculpt, polish, refurbish, rewire, Tae Bo, role-play, Google, play darts.

9. What to Netflix while you're waiting for the cable guy to show up: The Money Pit, Funny Farm, Grey Gardens, Under the Tuscan Sun, The Station Agent, and season one of Big Love (for the days you miss having roommates).

10. I Need to Do That? Professionally shampoo rugs once a year ... dry-clean drapes every two years ... defilm the coffeemaker every three months ... deodorize the microwave monthly ... change bedsheets weekly.


THE STATS

11. TAKE THAT, SMUG COUPLES: In general, married women experience more depression than do single women.

12. TRY A PET ROCK: 76% of animal hoarders (think 19 dogs, 32 cats, and a zebra in one house) are women, and over half live alone.

13. BEWARE THAT DIPTYQUE (and for heaven's sake, don't light a vanilla one): 18,000 home fires are started annually by candles.

More Articles from the Smart Girl's Guide to Living Alone

Alternative Roommates

Cooking for One

Pimp Your Pad

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
More From Culture