Why Am I Obsessed with Murder Podcasts?

Full disclosure: I'm a 22-year-old woman who loves beauty and fashion. I just graduated college and am interning in New York City while I job-hunt. I'm "normal" in pretty much every possible way.

Except this one: I can't stop listening to super graphic, super gory crime podcasts.

Not your fictional scary stories, either—I'm talking true-crime, makes-you-question-humanity podcasts. The kind you feel gross listening to, and feel gross wanting to listen to, but you keep going back for more. I don't know what it is, but each podcast, more unbelievably appalling than the last, is the equivalent of a really addictive book I shamelessly shirk my real-life responsibilities to read.

My most recent vice is Sword and Scale. To date there are 83 one-hour-plus episodes that cover topics as dark as child prostitution rings and mothers killing their babies, and I've listened to every.single.one. This stuff is seriously disturbing—and I love it.

But it's not just me. It can't be just me. And if new podcasts like My Favorite Murder, in which comedians Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff hilariously geek out about how much they obsess over the crime-iest of the crimes, are any indication...it's probably you, too.

So let's all just hunker down and admit to ourselves that we're creepy weirdos, shall we?

And to keep feeding the addiction, here, five recs to add to your already-chilling podcast cue:

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Simedar Jackson is an esthetician, content creator, and lover of sci-fi fiction living in Brooklyn, New York. She is passionate about creating space for Black and Brown people in the beauty and wellness industries by providing access to culturally nuanced education and services that meet their needs. You can find them doing their skincare routine, reminding friends to reapply SPF, and watching reruns of Love Island.