As I mentioned recently, I've been reading Sabbath's Theater — a wonderful novel ... which is also wildly sexually explicit in some places, often in a way that made me pretty grossed out. It's about a serial adulterer and complete failure — a former puppeteer named Mickey Sabbath — who begins to have a nervous breakdown after his beloved mistress dies of cancer. Some of the suspense in the book hinges on the question of whether or not Sabbath will kill himself. For some people, I bet the fact that they are personally rooting for the arguably abhorrent narrator's downfall also creates tension.
Anyway.
At a certain point in the book, the favored mistress — a somewhat plump 52-year-old Croatian immigrant named Drenka who has plenty of paramours herself, in addition to Mickey and her husband — is describing to Sabbath, in vivid detail, the sexual relationship she is having with a young electrician who is new to town. She describes how, when they are having sex, he is like Mickey, in that he will say (as Drenka puts it): "'I don't want to come yet.' And then he says, 'Oh my God, I'm coming, I'm coming,' and then 'Ohhh. Ohh,' those big sounds he makes. And the relief, it's like they collapse almost."
I had to smile after reading that bit because it just seems so true to my experience: All men announce — in a way that sounds sort of childlike, sort of desperate, always very urgent, occasionally apologetic — when they are about to unleash themselves in you.
I always find this weirdly touching; it's a moment when men seem so vulnerable, and even kind of innocent. I always feel weirdly maternal in the moments after that, when they are spent and gasping for breath and physically weakened — like I just kind of want to pet them and tell them it's all right, take it easy.
Do I have some kind of point here? Or did I just want to talk about sex?
Well, maybe it's just that it strikes me as funny that when having an orgasm, every man is an everyman. There's surprisingly little variety.
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
Or do you disagree? Do Roth and I have it wrong? I mean, I know that when you settle into a more serious relationship, things change and you get to know another person's rhythms better. But I think, even then, it's fairly common that a man will let you know what's about to happen, almost as a way of making sure you're all right with his timing (or begging your forgiveness ahead of time if you're not).
-
Celebrate Earth Month With Our Feel-Good Fashion Report
Your guide to being more sustainable in 2024.
By Anneliese Henderson Published
-
Anne Hathaway Details the "Gross" Audition Request She Once Endured
"Now we know better."
By Meghan De Maria Published
-
The Emotional Ending of 'Baby Reindeer,' Explained
Netflix's latest miniseries from Richard Gadd is based on the true story of the comedian and his stalker.
By Quinci LeGardye Published
-
The 22 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The best options, for every preference and price range.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
The Best Period Sex Tips, According to Sex Experts
Who says messy can't be sexy?
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
The 20 Best Sex Games for Couples in 2023
Who said game nights need to be wholesome?
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
The 14 Best Lubes for Every Need
Good sex should always go smoothly.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce Published
-
100 Sex Songs That Won't Make You Cringe
Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.
By The Editors Published
-
75 Real Sex Scenes in Movies
These actors aren't faking anything.
By Mehera Bonner Last updated
-
33 Unexpected Valentine's Day 2023 Date Ideas
A.k.a. not dinner and roses.
By The Editors Published