Do We Have a "Predetermined Number of Sexual Opportunities"--to use or lose?
With spring in the air, I bet I'm not the only one with sex on the brain. Should we avail of any opportunities we have for casual sex--since we either use them up or lose them forever--as a certain novelist suggests? (And if so, is the mindset I...
Lovelies:
Ah, spring. Love--or at least lust--seems to be in the air. While I was out jogging yesterday, I can't tell you how many couples I saw kissing on park benches, or swinging hands as they strolled water-side, or suddenly stopping as the sun began to set because they just could not wait any longer to embrace. There was, too, a young girl--in an argyle sweater, little jacket, short skirt and high-tops with a pony tail on top of her head--who almost got hit by a fleet of cars as she crossed six lanes of traffic, so excited was she to reunite with her lover, waiting on the sidewalk. When she reached him, she jumped into his arms, wrapping her bare legs around his waist with a giggle; then he marched off down the street with her. All of this gives me the feeling that everyone is celebrating the beginning of the new season by getting it on.
Which is perhaps a long way of saying I have sex on the brain.
Case in point: Yesterday, I purchased some daffodils that were tightly closed. I put them into water. A few hours later, as their heads began to swell--just hinting at the yellow inside, without yet bursting into the full glory of flower--I could think of nothing but ... the birds and the bees, shall we say?
All of this got me thinking about a passage from the novel I recently finished reading, Love in the Time of Cholera. The protagonist--the leading male--manages to be both a romantic (who pines for the lost sweetheart of his youth all his life) and a nymphomaniac. He thinks: "... nothing one does in bed is immoral if it helps to perpetuate love." (Which is to say, I think, that as long as you have true feelings of passion and fondness for a person you bring to your bed, and you treat both your sexual playmate and yourself with respect, sex will not be a bad thing. Maybe I agree with that.) He also believes that "one comes into the world with a predetermined allotment of lays, and whoever does not use them for whatever reason, one's own or someone else's, willingly or unwillingly, loses them forever."
This is an interesting way to come at the question of so-called "casual sex"--don't you think? In fact, perhaps this is the mindset of most proponents of casual sex. (Speak up, you guys: Is that true?) It makes sex into a beautiful celebration of humanity, sexuality, sensuality and the moment.
I'm not saying that we should always go into sex thinking of it only as a purely aesthetic pleasure ... and I'm not saying we shouldn't be very careful about STDs (and pregnancies) ... and I'm not saying it's easy to be in a situation where both people are in agreement about how to approach the sexual opportunity. But perhaps if we could all understand that in some situations, sex can be nothing more--and nothing less--than a chance to have a particularly rich and intimate experience with another human being; a chance to glorify a moment ... maybe we'd all be sexually a bit better adjusted?
Stay In The Know
Select the newsletters you’d like to receive. Then, add your email to sign up.
Or, at least, maybe I would be.
xxx!
PS: Check out my Facebook fan page, if you'd like to K.I.T.
-
Anne Hathaway Apologizes to Journalist for "Awful" 2012 Interview That Went Viral
All's well that ends well!
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Taylor Swift Makes $5 Million Donation for Hurricanes Helene and Milton Relief
One organization thanked Swift for her generosity.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
Jennifer Lopez Says Ben Affleck Split Did "Almost Take Me Out for Good" the Second Time
She doesn't regret any of the lessons she's learned.
By Iris Goldsztajn Published
-
The All-Time Favorite Sex Positions of 11 Real Women
"It makes me feel like the sexiest woman on earth."
By The Editors Published
-
The 22 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The vibes are immaculate.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
The 20 Best Sex Games for Couples in 2023
Who said game nights need to be wholesome?
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
The 14 Best Lubes for Every Need
Good sex should always go smoothly.
By Gabrielle Ulubay Last updated
-
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce Published
-
100 Sex Songs That Won't Make You Cringe
Dim the lights and hit play on this sex songs — the perfect playlist of songs to have sex to.
By The Editors Published
-
33 Unexpected Valentine's Day 2023 Date Ideas
A.k.a. not dinner and roses.
By The Editors Published
-
How to Stay Safe Using Dating Apps and Websites
Did you know your favorite dating apps may be selling your intimate information? Swipe right on privacy with these key safety tips.
By Jenny Hollander Published