8:30 PM: Post-shower, is one hour of naked me time before I actually start getting ready—me, on my bed, no clothes, watching Netflix.
9:30 PM: I hate everything I own.
10:00 PM: Okay, I'm dressed, ready to go, friends are outside.
10:30 PM: There's a line to get in? We'll pass.
10:45 PM: Finally! This bar has the perfect mix of fancy cocktails and cheap beers: a recipe for the perfect buzz. Let's do this.
11:00 PM: The only bad thing about fancy cocktails is that they take foreevvveer to make. And that group of girls with their cranberry vodka's definitely came up to the bar after us.
11:07 PM: Oh good, the guy with the sandblasted jeans and shiny shoes is looking at me. Maybe I would have looked back in 1994 when his outfit was socially acceptable. Why can't it be the Ryan Gosling lookalike over there. Wait, he's talking to the cranberry vodka girls. #sigh.
11:08 PM: I'll order shots, just to speed things up a bit.
11:10 PM: Shots are disgusting.
12:00 AM: It's official: These shoes were not made for walking.
12:30 AM: Should I just run home and hope my friends don't notice?
12:31 AM: MY SONG IS ON!!!!!!!
1:00 AM: If I don't pee within the next five minutes I may actually explode.
2:00 AM: It's time to rally. Unless you're coming with me to find pizza, you're dead to me.
2:15 AM: Where did I throw my coat again? This one kind of looks like it. It'll do.
2:30 AM: All I want in this world is pizza.
3:00 AM: Home. Need to sleep now, take makeup off later.
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