Your Complete Guide to Fall Fashion 2017

A no-bull breakdown of everything you need—and don't.

You know how lots of fashion guides are like three pictures of vaguely similar things, united by titles that are puns? (NOT GUILTY.) This is not that—this is all the most pertinent information about the top trends for Fall 2017 with none about the stuff you'll never actually wear. Really.

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The Shoes: Toes So Pointy You Could Shiv Someone

If you watched Kingsman and thought, "Hmm, sure wish I had oxfords with a retractable blade," you're in luck. You could definitely hurt someone with Balenciaga's knife-point boots and mules—they do not have literal metal bits in them, make no mistake—or with any of the other very sharp footwear available to buy now, at every price point.

Shop all the boots, pointy and not, here.

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The Shoes: Toes So Pointy You Could Shiv Someone

Maison Margiela

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The Shoes: Toes So Pointy You Could Shiv Someone

Valentino

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The Bag: Clean and Satchel-y

Give your basket a rest, okay, Jane Birkin? (At least until it's winter, AKA unseasonal-bag weather.) For getting down to business, choose a structured, bookish satchel, like this guy from Louis Vuitton. Size doesn't really matter, but the edict on limited strap usage still stands.

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The Bag: Clean and Satchel-y

Balenciaga

Shop similar: Balenciaga, $2,990

BUY IT: bergdorfgoodman.com.

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The Bag: Clean and Satchel-y

Dries van Noten

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The All-in-One: Anti-Corporate Suits

One Pantsuit Nation, indivisible. As fashion's love affair with the matched set continues, we stray further and further from its Wall Street roots toward the Edwardians and teddy boys and romantic heroines. Check out the blush on this Nina Ricci, for example.

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The All-in-One: Anti-Corporate Suits

Agnes B.

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The All-in-One: Anti-Corporate Suits

Zimmermann

Shop similar: Zimmermann, $1,600

BUY IT: saksfifthavenue.com.

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The Texture: Homemade (or If You Were Crafty)

Once again, your Nana (or her couch) is a style icon, though not in a cobwebby, old-school Olsen way. This time, it's all about patchwork, quilt squares, nubby knits with more cables than your actual gran's TV, and the pleasantly musty smell of Tradition...turned on its head, as seen here at Public School.

Shop similar: Coach skirt, $795

BUY IT: coach.com.

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The Texture: Homemade (or If You Were Crafty)

Dolce & Gabbana

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The Texture: Homemade (or If You Were Crafty)

Valentino

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The Outerwear: Belted and/or Shiny

As extra as we are. Coats remain the part of your wardrobe you should perhaps spend the most on, given that, for half (or more) of the year, they are what define your look. As we enter fall, think long and lean in a macintosh-ish shape like this guy from Vuitton, and topped off with a belt.

Shop similar: Topshop, $210

BUY IT: topshop.com.

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The Outerwear: Belted and/or Shiny

Hermès

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The Outerwear: Belted and/or Shiny

Sacai

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The Skirt Length: Midi

There's probably some correlation between skirt lengths and the economic climate, so what does the decidedly walkable but not-so-showoff-y nature of the midi—this one's Valentino—say about the times? Dunno, but the more fabric, the better—and maybe some sheerness too.

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The Skirt Length: Midi

Carolina Herrera

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The Skirt Length: Midi

No. 21

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The Print: Checks and Plaid

Similarly, the more classic the print, the more nostalgic we are for the comfort of the past? Coping techniques aside, checks and plaids will never be solidly *out* for autumn. But this season, get 'em in weird, acidic colors and even weirder, unexpected shapes.

Shop similar: Stella McCartney Jacket, $1,495

BUY IT: stellamccartney.com.

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The Print: Checks and Plaid

Stella McCartney

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The Print: Checks and Plaid

Tome

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The Color: Red

Power. Passion. Does this fidget spinner come in crimson? (No? But this Giambattista Valli daydream does.)

Shop similar: Giambattista Valli, $1,531

BUY IT: mytheresa.com.

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The Color: Red

Dolce & Gabbana

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The Color: Red

Fendi

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The Pants: Grab Bag

Now, onto the next most crucial category: trousers. Can I still wear skinny jeans? Yes, but ask yourself this: Does it feel as right as something baggier, with a bit more room in the trunk? Though our vote goes toward phasing out super-slender silhouettes with no new element like a front split, unlike what's shown here at Jonathan Simkhai, do what you want. At least in the fall.

Shop some great non-skinny jeans here.

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The Pants: Grab Bag

Fenty x Puma

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The Pants: Grab Bag

Alice + Olivia

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