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June 19, 2009

Do I Move for My Boyfriend?

Real life dating diary.

people standing an airport with a plane outside the window

Photo Credit: EG Digital/iStock

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Elaine, 24, San Francisco

SUNDAY 1:15 a.m., New York, airport: My boyfriend is waiting for me at baggage claim. I haven't seen him in a month, and right now I'm so happy. We'd been together for four months when he moved from San Fran to New York for a job.
2 a.m., his apartment: We have sex almost immediately.
6 a.m.: We're up talking, drinking wine. It's nice to hear "I love you" in person.

MONDAY 8 a.m.: He leaves for work; I go online to look for jobs here.

TUESDAY 7 p.m.: He gets a call from his mentor offering him a job in D.C. He accepts the position on the spot, and I flip out. He knew I was considering following him here, and now he's changed the plan without consulting me. I'm hurt and angry, though more with myself for even considering moving for a guy.
10:30 p.m.: He offers to turn down the job, but I know he doesn't want to. I want him to decide on his own that he'd rather stay here. After some conversation, he apologizes for the rash decision and tells me he'll reconsider. We have makeup sex, but I don't feel any better.

WEDNESDAY 2:30 p.m., sandwich shop: When I meet him for lunch, he tells me that he still wants to take the job. We barely speak for the rest of the meal.
11 p.m., bar: We meet one of my best friends and her boyfriend for drinks. My boyfriend and I get into a friendly debate over politics that quickly turns ugly. He storms out to get some air.
1 a.m., his apartment: We rehash everything from the night before. After a half-hour, I'm still yelling, but his temperament changes. He puts his arms around my waist and says we'll figure it out. We kiss, and I initiate sex. I know it's not a solution, but we're all talked out.

FRIDAY 7:30 p.m., Central Park: He called in sick. We sit in the park and talk about what we want out of life. Right now, I really think things will work out for us.

SUNDAY 5 p.m., bed: We lie around in bed, napping and talking. Neither of us mentions that I'm leaving tomorrow.
1 a.m.: We recap my visit. We agree the fighting was a downer, but it helped to hash things out. We have sex.
5:30 a.m.: We wake up and have sex one last time. When he walks me to the subway, we hug. I resist the urge to tell him that I would consider moving to D.C. if I could get a job there. Instead, I just say I'll call him when I get home.

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