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Is It Ever Okay for a Guy to Be Jealous?

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Is It Ever Okay for a Guy to Be Jealous?

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Car ConceptMost of the time I see jealous and overly possessive guys driving their girlfriends away. They appear to be controlling and insecure.

But, then again, if you don't act jealous at all, you look like you don't care. Sadly, I've seen women admit that it's nice to know that their guy is a little jealous or possessive of them.

So, let's go over the characters in our lives that may make our significant others jealous:

  • Ex boyfriend/girlfriendWhen you manage to remain friends with your ex, it can be a source of jealousy for any new person you date.  Just like any friend, you may spend time with your ex, and you'll expect your significant other to be secure enough to deal with this.  
  • Friends — There are all types of friends that can make someone jealous.  There can be a competition between your best friend and your significant other, who believes that the two of you are best friends.
  • Family — Sometimes certain family members are just so close to that person you're dating.  Whether it's a parent or a sibling, you may feel inadequate compared to the relationship they share.  They had-in most cases-a huge head start in creating a relationship with your loved one, so sometimes it's a little intimidating when they are so close to particular family members.
  • Work — Remember that Saved by The Bell where Zach's dad was not paying enough attention to him because he was always on his cell phone?  Finally, Zach took the cell phone away (that cell phone was the size of some of an airline carry on bag by the way), and his dad realized that he had been too into his work.  When someone is too into work, you begin to resent that job they are so into.
  • Pets — My mom definitely treats the cats better than she treats my dad.  He's pretty secure, so he doesn't mind, but I've definitely seen her yell at him for lots of reasons, while the cats can do no wrong.  
  • Material Goods — This is rare, but sometimes guys get way to into their car or other material goods.  


Guys have a lot of reasons they may become jealous.  They may have had something bad happen in the past, or they may be extremely insecure.  If a guy feels like he does not deserve a woman or is not good enough for her, he will become jealous easily, and worried that he's going to lose her to another guy.  On the other hand, I admit that I have tried to make girls I'm interested in jealous on purpose before.

A friend of mine  constantly reminds her boyfriend how she wants to go overseas and work.  She doesn't invite him along either.  He is in the strange position of having to be cool with it, because if he fights it then he will look like he's limiting her freedom.

I've been doing my best to just look like I don't care when I should be jealous.  I just stand there if someone I'm dating is talking to her ex, or a guy that's hitting on her.  But, am I supposed to be more jealous and possessive?  Do I look blasé when I stand there trying to act stoic when a guy is hitting on a girl I'm dating?  

Is there ever any reason for a guy to show a bit of jealousy or possessiveness?  Does it feel good to have a guy feeling that way about you?  Or should he be totally secure, and not show this type of weakness at all, even if some other guy is hitting on you?  Have you ever tried to make someone jealous on purpose?

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