The Starter Husband
Youd never buy a car without test-driving it first, right? So why settle into a lifelong marriage before trying one on for size?
By Gretchen Voss
Photo Credit: Chris Buck
"Im just really not ready to be committed like this. Thats what Andi said to Tucker, her husband of 11 months, after she came home from a crazy day at work two years ago with an overwhelming urge to quit her marriage. Today. Right now. This just isnt for me.
She spoke stoically no tears, no histrionics. She had been imagining this moment since she moved out of their condo a few months earlier, but she wanted to ease him into the inevitable to somehow tiptoe her way through the minefield of Tuckers emotions. But now, having scored a direct hit with those crushing words, she watched Tucker crumple against the dining-room table. I dont understand, he said, over and over. Were married.
Look, we can do this now, or we can do this five years from now when its a lot messier, Andi said, softening her voice but not her position. I want a divorce. The guy didnt really do anything to deserve this, she thought, looking at Tuckers ashen face. He must think Im a monster. Watching her husband shuffle to the door of her temporary apartment, Andi felt awful. But mostly, she felt unbelievably relieved.
I was married for like, two seconds. Thats what Andi says to me today, her enormous kohl-rimmed blue eyes crinkling as she recounts her drive-through union. It was literally an entry-level marriage. Were sitting in a café in a funky Boston neighborhood known for its liberal attitudes and alternative lifestyles this is where gay couples raise their children and yet women are actually swiveling in their seats, doing indiscreet 180s to get a look at the impeccably coiffed, blonde-haired woman saying such things.
Hearing her words, I flinch slightly. Were talking about an event thats supposed to be a turning point in life, and she sounds so cavalier. And yet, Andi is only articulating what the one in five women under age 30 who get divorced every year must think.