How to Talk Politics

Sally Quinn, D.C. socialite, wife of legendary Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee, and co-moderator of the blog "On Faith," has spent a lifetime making merry in political minefields. At 17, she was goosed by Strom Thurmond at a party; later, she got Henry Kissinger to say he was a "secret swinger." The ultimate D.C. hostess, Quinn has pulled stunts like seating Donald Rumsfeld's wife next to ultra-lefty Hollywood producer Norman Lear — and been thanked for the pleasure. Who better to ask how to quickly disarm the polemicist trying to push your buttons?

Scenario: Your boyfriend's amateur-economist dad calls you ignorant for saying higher taxes are good for the country.

"Ask questions. 'Why do you think that?' That way you learn something. If you think what he's saying is really dumb — or really interesting — open it up to the table. Say, 'What does everybody else think?'"

Scenario: You're a closet liberal at work, and your red-blooded boss says, "Of course you're going to vote for McCain..."

"Say, 'I find a lot of things about McCain very appealing.' Then name the things that are appealing: He's a war hero, and he wouldn't let his captors release him unless they freed fellow POWs. Then say, 'I do worry about his age and his health.' In other words, don't say, 'I hate him,' but say the things that 'concern' you."