8 Signs You're Accidentally the Mean Girl at Work
*sprints from the break room as you approach*
Few people set out to be the office's resident mean girl. Maybe you aimed for HBIC status and got a little ahead of yourself on the B part. Maybe the issue is that you derive little joy from your current occupation, so you're just keeping your head down and bypassing all niceties. Or maybe you suspect no one will take you seriously if you aren't more ice than nice.
Bottom line: You don't need to be a masterful manipulator like UnREAL's Quinn (who spends her time creating mega-drama on the show's faux-reality love competition) to end up with a bad rap.
Here, eight reasons you might be the mean girl at work. Thanks.
1. You end every email with "Thanks."
Would it kill you to use an exclaimation?
2. You send emails with no punctuation at all.
"OK" is not a response. It is a coded proclamation that the recipient should go running into rush-hour traffic.
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3. Those emails about a post-work happy hour? You ignore them every. single. time.
By all means, choose not to attend. But at least reply to whomever planned it and make up some excuse. The in-laws are in town again, damn!
4. You're tapping away at your phone before the meeting starts.
Those few minutes of chatter before the boss sweeps in and starts the meeting? They're friendship fairy dust. Your email (or Instagram) can wait.
5. At closing time, you wordlessly gather your stuff and make a beeline for the elevator.
The quick, general "G'night!" is all but mandatory. And if you think people who do it are annoying and distracting, lady, you are the problem.
6. You dramatically pop in headphones and shoot glares when a conversation bubbles up near you.
Yes, open floor plans suck, but it is that hard to just let the chitchat happen (or, if it goes on too long, smile and give a sweet, "Could you keep it down a tiny bit?")?
7. You close the door every time you stop into your work wife's office.
Everyone knows you are talking about them. And now everyone is talking about you.
8. You eat the yogurt you're preeeeetty sure, like 88 percent sure, is yours.
Make that 100 percent or walk away, fridge thief.
For more examples serious office mean girl behavior, check out the UnREAL Season 2 trailer here:
Tune in to the second season of UnREAL, premiering on Lifetime on June 6th at 10/9c.
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Andi Bartz's debut thriller THE LOST NIGHT received starred reviews from Library Journal and Booklist and was optioned for TV by Mila Kunis and Cartel Entertainment. Her second novel, THE HERD, was named a best book of 2020 by Real Simple, Marie Claire, Good Housekeeping, and CrimeReads. Her third thriller, WE WERE NEVER HERE, was a Reese’s Book Club pick and an instant New York Times bestseller; it’s in development at Netflix. Her fourth book, THE SPARE ROOM, was a GMA Bonus Buzz Pick, a Marie Claire book club pick, and a best book of summer per People, Shondaland, Glamour, Elle, Harper’s Bazaar, and more.
Bartz's most recent thriller, THE LAST FERRY OUT, has been praised by ELLE, Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, and more. She also publishes the Substack Get It Write.