"This decision has nothing to do with you," said the HR rep. I had just gotten laid off. Essentially, I had just been told by my company that I wasn't worth keeping around. How could I not take that personally? I was handing over some documents pertaining to my severance package and I wondered who to call first. My parents? My boyfriend? My roommate? How could I decide who to break down in front of first? Why did I feel like I was disappointing all of them?
Don't get me wrong: I wasn't exactly thrilled with my job. I had taken an assistant position at a magazine two years ago with the impression that I would eventually be writing and editing. That was my dream. In reality, my responsibilities were administrative and mundane. I was not passionate about the articles I wrote (which were few and far between), and lately, I had begun to step outside of myself and wonder what the hell I was doing with my life. Still, the alternative – being unemployed – seemed utterly unimaginable. How would I survive without an income? What about health insurance? Would I ever write again? Even though I wasn't happy at my job, I was still a part of magazines, a world that I loved and believed in. I am terrified that I will never be a part of that again.
Worried you might get laid off? Read this: 4 Things to Grab as You're Being Laid Off & 1 Thing to Leave Behind