How to Survive the Apocalypse: Pro Tips from 'Last Man on Earth' Star Kristen Schaal
Survival of the funniest.


Last Man on Earth's Kristen Schaal has learned a thing or two about getting by once, oh, everyone else on the planet perishes in some apocalyptic event. Here are her rules for surviving.
Rule No. 1: Learn the basics
"Like how to be brave. It's creepy to be alone—you have to learn to overcome that fear of being creeped out. Oh, and if you get a cut or whatever, you should know how to tend to it."
Rule No. 2: Chug, chug, chug
"Drink all the booze."
Rule No. 3: Enjoy the view
"Live by the ocean. Actually, I'd live in Sonoma, and then I'd come into San Francisco to tool around, then go back to Sonoma. It might be a little chilly, but all the wine would be there."
Rule No. 4: Take fashion risks
"Wear what's most realistic and comfortable for where you are—I would probably wear the softest clothing. Soft on the inside but strong on the outside, just in case I fall—like, all leather with a cashmere lining."
Rule No. 5: You fancy, huh?
"Steal jewels. I would love to be decked out in, like, a tiara and a nice ring—like the Hope diamond."
Rule No. 6: The more you know
"It'd be helpful to get a hobby in mechanics so you could get things up and running. But if you're not that handy, go into the arts: Get yourself a paint-by-numbers kit and see where you go. Oh, and write it all down. Carve out your whole story in stone so that the aliens will know, after you're gone, what happened."
A version of this article appears in the August 2015 issue of Marie Claire on newsstands July 21.
As deputy editor, Jen oversees Cosmopolitan's daily digital editorial operations, editing and writing features, essays, news, and other content, in addition to editing the magazine's cover stories, astrology pages, and more. Previously, Jen was a senior editor at Marie Claire. Before that, she worked at GQ.
-
The Ending of 'The Umbrella Academy' Season 3, Explained
The Netflix hit's finale resets its universe yet again.
By Quinci LeGardye
-
Lorde Is Now Blonde and It’s the All the Happiness We Need Right Now
She's stunning.
By Deena Campbell
-
The Jeans Brands Fashion Editors Swear By
Your search for the perfect pair of jeans is over.
By Sara Holzman
-
Who Is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Fiancé Riley Roberts?
AOC's husband-to-be is an "easygoing redhead" who lives with her in D.C.
By Katherine J Igoe
-
68 Times the Kardashians Posed Fully Nude and Owned It
And we mean fully nude—as in, not a shred of clothing.
By Bianca Rodriguez
-
Who Is Jonathan Owens, Simone Biles's Fiancé and NFL Player?
"The easiest yes!" Simone wrote about the couple's engagement.
By The Editors
-
Surprise! Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Nick Jonas Are Parents
They welcomed a baby via surrogate.
By Neha Prakash
-
Meghan and Harry Share First Photo of Their Daughter Lilibet Diana
The Sussex's holiday card is here!
By Rachel Epstein
-
The 50 Best Celebrity Couple Halloween Costumes Ever
Honestly, we're impressed.
By Charlotte Chilton
-
Alicia Keys Gets What She Wants
With her jazzy new album, Keys, the singer stopped worrying about everything except what matters: Her own opinion.
By Jessica Herndon
-
Brooke Shields on Reinventing Yourself, Making Friends in Your 40s, and More
The actress and CEO shared inspiring advice during a panel at 'Marie Claire's' "Power Trip: Off the Grid" conference.
By Rachel Epstein