Thing You Didn't Know: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Were Separated a Year Before They Announced It

"When we said we're going to put the children first, we meant it."

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Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have seemingly stayed #CoupleGoals without actually being a couple anymore. (How??) The 43-year-old Goop founder opened up about her family—and her split with Martin—in the new issue of U.K.'s Red magazine (opens in new tab), where she pointed out that 1) yeah it's been hard but 2) that it's easier with a compassionate and caring partner.

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"I think that I'm very lucky in that I have such a willing partner in agreeing with, and teaching me, as much as I taught him. And bringing to me, as much as I brought to him, ideas about how to do it in a really gentle way, so it would be really gentle for Chris and myself," she said. "We loved each other very much, and we still do love each other, and we have these two beautiful children together. I thought, 'I wonder if there's a way where we don't have to do that to our kids and we can just carry on having family dinners.'"

She also gets candid about figuring out whether they'd stay together. "We had broken up a year before we announced it, so we would have this time to work through everything," she says. "It's also almost about having to press the 'override' button whenever you feel angry or jealous or whatever, broken-hearted. You have to press the button: I'm going back to the baseline of 'I love this person, he's the father of my children, he's a wonderful man. I'm just going to put my sh*t aside for right now.' It really has not been easy for me at times; I'm sure it's not been easy for him."

"It really has not been easy for me at times; I'm sure it's not been easy for him."

In the end, as we all know, they agreed that breaking up conscious uncoupling was for the best—and the best way to handle things for their children, Apple, age 11, and Moses, age 10. "When we said we're going to put the children first, we meant it. If you want to put your children first then why are you slagging your husband off in front of them?  I have to say it wasn't the outcome we were hoping for, but it was our outcome and we've really done the best that we can."

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Samantha Leal
Senior Editor

Samantha Leal is the Deputy Editor at Well+Good, where she spends most of her day thinking of new ideas across platforms, bringing on new writers, overseeing the day-to-day of the website, and working with the awesome team to produce the best stories and packages. Before W+G, she was the Senior Web Editor for Marie Claire and the Deputy Editor for Latina.com, with bylines all over the internet. Graduating from the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University with a minor in African history, she’s written everything from travel guides to political op-eds to wine explainers (currently enrolled in the WSET program) to celebrity profiles. Find her online pretty much everywhere @samanthajoleal.