Queen Elizabeth’s Friend Shares the Key Marriage Strategy the Late Monarch Used With Prince Philip: “Worked So Well”

Lady Myra Butter explained how the late Queen navigated her seven-decade-long relationship.

Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip smiling at each other in front of trees
(Image credit: Getty Images)

Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip were married for nearly 74 years when he died at the age of 99 in 2021, and despite the difficult times that were thrown at them, their marriage stood the test of time. Speaking to author Gyles Brandreth in his book Elizabeth: An Intimate Portrait, one of the late Queen’s childhood friends revealed the secret to their successful relationship.

Lady Myra Butter, who died in 2022, knew both Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip since they were children, and even made the late Queen godmother to her daughter, Sarah. Speaking to Brandreth in 2021, she said that when Philip died, Queen Elizabeth lost “the world, I think,” calling the loss “incalculable.”

“She was madly in love with Philip from the word go—and she loved him as he was,” Lady Butter said. She pointed out that the reason their relationship worked was because the late Queen “didn’t try to change him,” adding, “You couldn’t. She didn’t.”

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Lady Butter continued that Queen Elizabeth knew Philip was set in his ways. “She accepted him as he was—and he accepted her as she was. That’s why it worked so well. They respected one another as equals.”

Prince Philip might not have been into horse racing like his wife, and found her dogs to be “infuriating,” but he carried out his own hobbies that Queen Elizabeth didn't feel the need to get involved in, too.

Lady Butter, who Brandreth said “shared with the Queen a lifelong passion for horses, as well as a gift for doing impressions,” reflected on her friend’s change in status from princess to Queen and how that impacted her marriage.

“He walked a step behind her because of that, but he was never a step behind her as a person,” she shared.

Kristin Contino
Senior Royal and Celebrity Editor

Kristin Contino is Marie Claire's Senior Royal and Celebrity editor. She's been covering royalty since 2018—including major moments such as the Platinum Jubilee, Queen Elizabeth II’s death and King Charles III's coronation—and places a particular focus on the British Royal Family's style and what it means.

Prior to working at Marie Claire, she wrote about celebrity and royal fashion at Page Six Style and covered royalty from around the world as chief reporter at Royal Central. Kristin has provided expert commentary for outlets including the BBC, Sky News, US Weekly, the Today Show and many others.

Kristin is also the published author of two novels, “The Legacy of Us” and “A House Full of Windsor.” She's passionate about travel, history, horses, and learning everything she can about her favorite city in the world, London.