
When Monica Lewinsky was 22 years old, she entered into an affair with then President Bill Clinton. When she was 24, after the affair had ended, the news broke. For the following two decades—and to some extent, to this very day—she endured humiliation and ridicule. But now, at age 42, Lewinsky is finally settling back into herself, and has become an outspoken advocate against cyberbullying in the process.
Often considered cyberbullying's first victim, Lewinsky—who now has a master's degree in psychology—has become a lecturer on the consequences of bullying. And in a tell-all new interview with The Guardian, she opens up about her experiences with image tarnishing, her attempts to escape her past life, suicidal thoughts, and being ridiculed by everyone from Jay Leno to notable feminists like Nancy Friday (who once said Lewinsky could pay rent with "her mouth.")
On how she felt looking back:
"I felt like every layer of my skin and my identity were ripped off of me in '98 and '99. It's a skinning of sorts. You feel incredibly raw and frightened. But I also feel like the shame sticks to you like tar."
On being deemed "that woman":
"I don't actually know why this whole story became about oral sex. It was a mutual relationship."
On being publicly mocked:
"I think it's fair to say that whatever mistakes I made, I was hung out to dry by a lot of people—by a lot of the feminists who had loud voices. I wish it had been handled differently. It was very scary and very confusing to be a young woman thrust on to the world stage and not belonging to any group. I didn't belong to anybody."
On suicide:
Lewinsky states that she came "very close" to attempting suicide, even going so far as to figure out how she'd do it. "I think some young people don't see suicide as an ending, but as a reset."
On moving on:
"To be able to give a purpose to my past, if I'm stuck with my past, feels meaningful to me. Integrate what has happened to you. Integrate the experience, the faster the better. There's shame about the shame. So there's a tendency to not want to tell someone what's going on."
Read the full interview over at TheGuardian.com.
Follow Marie Claire on Instagram for the latest celeb news, pretty pics, funny stuff, and an insider POV.
Samantha Leal is the Deputy Editor at Well+Good, where she spends most of her day thinking of new ideas across platforms, bringing on new writers, overseeing the day-to-day of the website, and working with the awesome team to produce the best stories and packages. Before W+G, she was the Senior Web Editor for Marie Claire and the Deputy Editor for Latina.com, with bylines all over the internet. Graduating from the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University with a minor in African history, she’s written everything from travel guides to political op-eds to wine explainers (currently enrolled in the WSET program) to celebrity profiles. Find her online pretty much everywhere @samanthajoleal.
-
I Wear Exclusively Neutrals—These 14 Items From Banana Republic's MDW Sale Speak To Me
Live your best life in linen.
By Julia Marzovilla
-
Kylie Jenner and I Share The Same Favorite Phone Case Brand
The serotonin-boosting case I can't go a day without.
By Gabrielle Ulubay
-
The 14 Must-Haves Marie Claire Editors Are Buying During Nordstrom's Enormous Sale
Thousands of cult products are discounted during Nordstrom's Half-Yearly Sale—but they're going fast.
By Julia Marzovilla
-
The 56 Best Musical Movies of All Time: Iconic Movie Musicals
All the dance numbers! All the show tunes!
By Amanda Mitchell
-
'Ginny & Georgia' Season 2: Everything We Know
Netflix owes us answers after that ending.
By Zoe Guy
-
29 Nude Movies With Porn-Level Nudity
All the nudity of porn, but with the plot and storylines of mainstream film.
By Kayleigh Roberts
-
The Cast of 'The Crown' Season 5: Your Guide
The Mountbatten-Windsors have been recast—again.
By Andrea Park
-
Who Is Hasnat Khan, Princess Diana’s Boyfriend on Season 5 of ‘The Crown’?
Di’s friends have said she referred to the doctor as “the love of her life.”
By Andrea Park
-
Who Is Penelope "Penny" Knatchbull?
She and Prince Philip strike up an unlikely friendship throughout the fifth season of 'The Crown.'
By Andrea Park
-
'The Crown' Season 5: Everything We Know
The bombshell fifth season just dropped on Netflix.
By Andrea Park
-
90 Halloween Costume Ideas Inspired By Movies and TV Shows
Most of these Halloween costumes double as stylish additions to your closet.
By Brooke Knappenberger