When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it's worth it for you:
1. You Are Not on the VIP List For Breaking News
Were you the last to learn about this person's job promotion (opens in new tab)
or newborn niece or nephew? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.
2. They Avoid Meeting Your Family or Friends
If they are shying away from meeting your friends/family (opens in new tab)
consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.
3.
They Don't Make Any Sacrifices (opens in new tab)
Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary (opens in new tab) in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid-an event he never would have gone to if she hadn't of invited him. Now that's sacrifice.
4. They Can't Fit In Your Future
I admit it. When I meet girls, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are her with my family and I at a Christmas holiday (opens in new tab), or at a summer crabfeast (opens in new tab). If I'm really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.
5. They Are Too Controlling
It's scary but I've seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends (opens in new tab), or wear certain clothes. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.
6. The "What Are We" Conversation Fails Miserably
Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it's worth taking the plunge into being exclusive (opens in new tab) and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. If they are confused and surprised that you're ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.
7. They Talk About Plans That Don't Involve You
My sister has major wanderlust. She's always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year (opens in new tab). She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don't let yourself get too into them.
8. Your Friends of Family Don't Like Them
Remember that your friends and family know you best. Don't take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It's one thing if a person or two don't get along with your significant other, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone. (opens in new tab)
9. They Violated Your Trust
Whether it's cheating or a little lie (opens in new tab) that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don't' give away easily and once it's gone it's hard to get it back. We'll always be wondering about that lie (opens in new tab), and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.
10. You Practice "Unbalanced Dating"
Are you always seeing his friends or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the restaurants, and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able contribute. If you're not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out. (opens in new tab)
What would you add to the list? Ever been a victim of any of these red flags?
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