As anyone who's been reading this blog for a while knows, I have a taste for "fresh meat." (opens in new tab) My friends think I prefer younger guys because it's a way of being commitment-phobic (opens in new tab) without admitting to myself that that's what's going on — because, as they argue, younger dudes are less likely to be looking for serious relationships than older dudes are.
For a long time, I tried to tell my friends they were wrong about me, and that the reason I was so into the Junior Mints was simply because they are HOTTER. (No offense, olds.)
But recently — after a certain 25-year-old I was seeing made me really sad by breaking things off (even though he did it in a way that was quite considerate) — I have begun to appreciate something: Exclusively dating men 28 and younger (which has been my M.O. for the last many years) is a bad idea. I've started to think that if I don't stick to guys who are closer to 30 — at least! — I will never end up in a serious relationship.
As such, I'm herewith publicly professing THE 5 MAIN REASONS I'M SWEARING OFF THE JAILBAIT.
1. They're more likely to be high on their sexual power.
It's been my experience that many, many dudes in their 20s are just coming into their own, sexually. It's gotten easier and easier, with age, to attract women — and there's a lot more variety out there in the wide world than there was on their college campus. Many of them are working for the first time, so they're enjoying having a salary and living it up. They're in their sexual prime. Many of them don't see any compelling reason to "settle down" (and most of the ones who are into the idea of settling down have already done so). This is particularly true of young guys like the ones I tend to stumble across: dudes who live in a big city; who are exceptionally smart; who are also exceptionally hot but, I think, were probably too smart to be the Big Men on Campus while they were in high school so that their newfound BMOC status is a thrill; AND, last but not least, who are on Internet dating sites (opens in new tab).
2. They're less likely to be looking for a serious relationship. (As I said above.)
3. Even if they want something "serious," their idea of "serious" might not be that ... serious.
For a younger dude, "serious" might be: "We see each other a few times a week and this thing stands a chance of lasting a year." Now, I'll admit that my idea of "serious" is: "We see each other twice a week and date for more than three months." The thought of cohabitation or spending the rest of my life with someone FREAKS ME THE HELL OUT. But perhaps that's a huge problem when it comes to happiness and satisfaction. So maybe it's worth my while to avoid dudes who are more likely to be less serious.
4. Even if you do get into a serious relationship with a younger dude, the whole babies thing is likely to be a conundrum. I'm deeply uncertain about whether I want to have babies or not. So was the most recent 25-year-old I was dating. Nonetheless, as we were breaking up, he told me, "If I do have kids, I don't want to do it for a while — and I feel strongly that I'd like to have them with someone my age." Perfectly reasonable. Also kinda painful to hear.
5. Even if you do get into a serious relationship with a younger dude, his lack of life experience — and dating experience — could make things complicated. Or annoying.
Older guys are more likely to know how to deal with things like temptations, rough patches, and periodic sexual problems. They're also more likely to know what they want to do with their lives, and to have a few accomplishments under their belts — which helps to make them more secure in themselves (and more attractive all around). There's less bad drama, and more halcyon days.
For all these reasons ... I think it's time for me to swear off the babies. Don't you agree? Are you a baby-lover too — and do you think it's time for you to stop robbing the cradle?
30 Female-Friendly Porn Websites for Any Mood
All the best websites, right this way.
By Kayleigh Roberts
70 Cheap Date Ideas for Couples on a Budget
"Love don't cost a thing." —J.Lo
By The Editors
Diary of a Non-Monogamist
Rachel Krantz, author of the new book 'Open,' shares the ups and downs of her journey into the world of open relationships.
By Abigail Pesta
71 Fun Date Ideas for 2023
Skip the old "dinner and a movie" for something original.
By Katherine J. Igoe
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce
How the pandemic has mutated our most personal disunions.
By Gretchen Voss
16 At-Home Date Ideas When You're Stuck Indoors
Staying in doesn't have to be boring.
By Katherine J. Igoe
Long Distance Relationship Gift Ideas for Couples Who've Made It This Far
Alexa, play "A Thousand Miles."
By Jaimie Potters