I've tried to be straight forward with women, but I wonder if I'm supposed to be playing more games.
For instance, the last girl I was really into, I kind of leaked it to her sisters. This killed the mystery and made me too easy. Also, as I found out every time we went out, it added some pressure-was anything going to happen? Should I ask her to come back to my place?
Sadly, my chances were doomed as soon as I had played my "I like you" card.
Now, I've only played games a handful of times, but I've realized that they can be more helpful than being straight forward, at least in the beginning. Here are some games I've played that worked out pretty well:
The I Don't Like You/Make 'Em Jealous Game
This one works quite often. I just act like they have no chance, even though I might like them. I openly flirt with other girls in front of them, and talk about how hot other girls are in front of them. I make myself look really picky, and difficult to get to. Then, I get really tender and give all of my attention to this girl that thought she had no chance. Sometimes I wonder if this is a game I'm playing on purpose, or if one day I just look at the girl in a different light and go for it.
The Doubt Game
My latest out of town flirtation that ended in disaster started with a challenge. When I met her I was in a hotel room with a bunch of people and I was lying on the bed drunk. She came in and talked about how she was going to move to New York and detailed her plans. While laying face down, I grumbled:
"You'll never make it in New York..."
Seems like a pretty rude thing to say. Nevertheless, a few days later, the girl had friended me on Facebook and even joked about that sentence I said. It obviously made a huge impact, and was effective because we madeout...even though she lost out to a pack of Ramen Noodles eventually.
The Crass Bastard Game
I don't understand how this works, but when I'm around a girl and I don't care about the outcome, I end up just treating her like one of my guy friends. So, I revel in bathroom humor, give her a hard time, tease her, and pretty much act like a drunken pirate pillaging a town. And every now and then the girl thinks to herself, "he is such a crass bastard...but I love him!"
The Be Careful What You Wish For Game
I dated my college girlfriend for almost a year, but the relationship did not have very glamorous origins. She and I started hanging out as buddies in groups. When I finally confronted her to tell her I liked her (first I tried giving her a stocking full of candy before Winter break but she didn't get the hint), she told me we should just remain friends. So, I decided I'd take that request to heart: I'd take away all of the special attention I'd been giving her.
One night the ensuing weekend, we were playing a drinking game around a table, and she looked at me after one round and asked if I noticed something funny during the game. I looked at her, and turned away. No answer...and I continued to ignore her the rest of the night. Talk about immature games! But somehow, it worked-she called me the next day and told me that she missed my attention and the way things were before our "friend talk," and we started dating.
I believe in the good of humanity, so I think that most games are either unconsciously played, or some kind of defense mechanism to maintain control of a situation.
Games that are played consciously, like the one I used on my college girlfriend, are a means to an end. Maybe all the games I have played are just me being kind of a jerk and then nice afterwards?
Why do we feel that we have to play games to get a specific result? Are games fair in dating, and what games have you played? What games have you had played on you? Are we all game players to some extent? Does it ever work out if you are just straight forward about your feelings right away?