It's time to stop screwing yourself over.
You're already pretty awesome—obviously. But some of your daily habits (ones you don't even think about) could be holding you back from fully unleashing that inner warrior goddess. Here's what bestselling author of The 5 Second Rule,Mel Robbins, says to stop doing pronto. Catch her new Audible Original “Kick Ass with Mel Robbins," for even more life-changing advice. It's basically a daily dose of unfiltered inspiration with one-on-one coaching sessions that are totally relatable. Picture a very wise—very honest—best friend.
Thinking everything has to be flawless makes you never want to start in the first place — and then when you do, it makes you too scared to finish. Instead of aiming to be the absolute best, Robbins says to go for good enough. “In most cases, good enough really is good enough."
“The only way to beat procrastination is to create a ‘starting ritual,'” says Robbins. “Research shows that if you can push yourself to get started on something, you’ll likely keep going.” So stop thinking and start doing one micro-action at a time (less "I'm going to write all my thank-you notes" and more "I'm going to get the cards out of the closet and put them on the table — right now.") Her famous five second rule: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!
When the first decision you make in the morning is go back to sleep, you set off a cycle to delay what scientists call your activation energy. And you need this miraculous jolt to get sh*t done. The effort required to leave that warm bed and enter the world is the same amount of effort you need to shake up your life says Robbins in her viral TED Talk: How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over, which has more than 12 million views.
When you’re in a state of panic, your brain reacts as if it’s in danger, and that leaves you unable to think clearly. Robbins recommends calming anxiety with an “anchor thought,” a positive thought so powerful it pulls you out of your mindset and into the moment. Say you’re afraid of public speaking: Your anchor thought might be of people congratulating you post-presentation. Once you feel the panic set in, count down from five and use your anchor thought to trick your brain into thinking you’re excited, not nervous.
Your creativity congestion could stem from loss of focus and lack of purpose. But! It also might just be that you're not allowing yourself time to create. To get yourself back on track, block out distractions, take breaks to clear your head, and really ponder the problem you’re looking to solve. Adult coloring books don't hurt either. Studies have shown making art and even looking at art reduces stress.
It's so easy to believe that naysaying inner voice that insists you can't, you won't, you suck. “Your feelings are screwing you," Robbins says—and the only solution is to tell them to STFU. How? By stepping out of your comfort zone, Robbins adds: volunteer, try a new class at the gym, head up a new project at work.
Ever made a New Year’s resolution you couldn't keep? Yeah, you and about 100 million other people. In fact, 80% of us give up by the second week of February. To stick with what you want, try pre-commiting yourself—signing up for a class in advance or asking a workout buddy to meet you in the park in the morning. Knowing you've already agreed to doing something frees you up from having an internal debate about whether or not you want to do it.
If you’re interested in learning more, check out the new Audible Original “Kick Ass with Mel Robbins” here.