10 Exit Strategies for When You're in an Uncomfortable Conversation with a Coworker

Sometimes, you need something a little stronger than "Excuse me."

By Chelsea Peng

Dec 23, 2015

Stocksy

1. Keep a popping video (might I suggest the egg-size cyst one?) open in your browser

Whip it out and go "I'm curating an exhibition exploring the excretions of the body as an expression of mankind's destructive tendencies, and I could really use your input" as the squeezing culminates and the infection erupts from the orifice.

2. "I'm thinking of getting a man bun."

3. Respond to every question with "Oooooooh yeeeaaahhhh"

But in the Kool-Aid man's voice, until the person, freaked out, backs away.

4. "No thank you."

Scuttle away.

5. Excuse yourself to go help someone, anyone

Be a do-gooder.

6. Snatch a nearby acquaintance like "Did you know Stuart also collects scarabs?"

Beat a hasty retreat to the bar.

7. "Let me tell you why I think I might have IBS."

8. "Wanna hear my mixtape?"

9. As soon as you start to get bored, make Justin Bieber prayer hands at odd intervals

Whisper "swag" at even odder intervals.

10. While at happy hour, begin shoving cocktail stirrers and grissini into your bag without breaking eye contact.

If they've got those toothpicks that look like tiny tridents, use one to comb your hair while singing "Part of Your World" with sweeping arm gestures.