Why Kali Uchis Believes Women Shouldn't Always Put Everybody Else First
"I like to think that in another timeline, my mom put herself first..."


Kali Uchis prides herself on being a very present parent to the 14-month-old son she shares with partner Don Toliver.
But while her little one is the singer's top priority, that doesn't mean that he's her entire life—and she wants to change the status quo when it comes to how much women, and especially mothers, are expected to do for the people in their life.
In particular, she regrets that her mom, who sadly passed away, did so much for others and so little for herself during her lifetime.
"Taking our power back should be about reclaiming what motherhood really means," Uchis tells Marie Claire as part of our Motherhood Issue.
"A huge thing people say about my mom is: 'She was so great because she put everybody else first.' Well, that wasn’t fair to her. I like to think that in another timeline, my mom put herself first and that she lived the way that she really deserved."
Uchis' new album Sincerely, will be released May 9, and she's proud to dedicate it to her mother, in part because writing songs helps her feel connected to her—but that's not the only reason.
"Part of the reason why I’m dedicating my album to my mom is because I want other women to know that it's okay for us to not put everybody else first," she explained.
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"We don't have to constantly sacrifice ourselves and we don't have to be the hardest working mom ever to make everybody else proud. It's okay to rest. It's okay to do things for yourself and to put yourself first. I want to honor her by inspiring other women to remember that this life is ours. We have to live it the way we want to."
The "telepatía" singer has been named one of Marie Claire's Power Moms alongside actresses Deepika Padukone and Gabrielle Union, among others.

Iris Goldsztajn is a London-based journalist, editor and author. She is the morning editor at Marie Claire, and her work has appeared in the likes of British Vogue, InStyle, Cosmopolitan, Refinery29 and SELF. Iris writes about everything from celebrity news and relationship advice to the pitfalls of diet culture and the joys of exercise. She has many opinions on Harry Styles, and can typically be found eating her body weight in cheap chocolate.
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