Beyoncé's (potential) work colleague Chris Evans has been known to go full-on mumblecore when talking about his love life, so Anthony Mackie, his Captain America: Civil War costar and part-time mouthpiece, did him a solid by laying out his type for E! News.
"Chris needs a regular girl," said Mackie, who also noted that Evans holds Earth, Wind & Fire in high esteem and that that is weird. "Chris needs a girl who is just down to earth, who's smart, and that's hard to find. Those girls are not celebrities. Those are not girls you know."
Hello? Is this not everyone who reads Marie Claire? Should we set up a meet and greet? With pizza?
Mackie continued, "Chris just needs…somebody who hangs out at home and somebody who can take care of him, you know, because he is Captain America."
Home is nice, yes. Okay then, that settles it—39,464 pepperonis and one of those ticket machines they have at the deli, please.