By Chelsea Peng
As a species, humankind's vibe for 2017 might as well be "Not great, Bob." While there's little a wicked Kanye song can do about the factors contributing to that overall grumpiness—wildfires and fish growing around litter and elected officials who just can't take a hint—it sure can help you do another rep. So here, 15 tracks that function like a starting gun to get you up and at 'em.
1. Beyoncé, "Diva"
Scream the beginning with me.
2. The Black Eyed Peas, "Pump It"
I never said this would be pretty, but [single-syllable utterance] if this isn't a turn-up song. Side note: The fashion in this has come full-circle, wow.
3. Calvin Harris feat. Ne-Yo, "Let's Go"
You star in your own Adidas commercial. You are faster than Usain Bolt on Heelys. You have your own Wheaties box.
4. Cardi B, "Bodak Yellow"
A true Horatio Alger story in a song—if Horatio Alger were a one-time stripper who got her teeth fixed and buys Louboutins now.
5. Cherub, "Doses and Mimosas"
This one goes out to everybody trying you, with the suggestion that they'll just be a distant memory soon. "To all the bitch-ass hoes that hate me most / I hate you too?" Pure poetry.
6. Drake, "Worst Behavior"
It was between this and "Started from the Bottom" (naturally), but this is harder and madder and a great reminder that Drake, too, was once overlooked. And he hasn't forgotten.
7. DJ Khaled feat. Ludacris, Rick Ross, T-Pain, and Snoop Dogg, "All I Do Is Win"
Still bumping this in 2017.
8. Kanye West, "Stronger"
Kanye + a Daft Punk sample = equally appropriate for hyping yourself up to do another set of squats and hyping yourself up again the next day, when you can't get down the subway steps without gripping the railing because everything burns.
9. M.I.A., "Paper Planes"
Made to be shouted.
10. Post Malone feat. Quavo, "Congratulations"
When you finally make it, or rather, when you imagine what that would feel like as you listen to this song from someone who's ostensibly been in your shoes pre-making it.
11. Rae Sremmurd feat. Gucci Mane, "Black Beatles"
The takeaway: Rae Sremmurd still has haters but keeps grinding, and so should you. (Put that on a plaque.)
12. Rihanna, "Bitch Better Have My Money"
For all we know, this could be playing on loop at the IRS. Brrap, brrap, brrap.
13. The Strokes, "Someday"
Yes, the "I ain't wasting no more time" thing will get you going, but on a larger scale, in the movie of your life, wouldn't you want this playing as you get out of bed and the title sequence rolls?
14. Sigrid, "Plot Twist"
HUGE sound, loads of sass, a "f*ck 'em" message that works, even if you've been generously single for ages.
15. Two Door Cinema Club, "What You Know"
Has the requisite BPM (high enough to start running to after you've warmed up the ol' hammies), optimism, and sick guitar licks you'd want in a song of this type.
I'm Chelsea Peng, the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. On my tombstone, I would like a GIF of me that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, I'm into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard I have to go lie down.
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