Blotting Your Pizza with a Napkin Is a Lie

Sorry not sorry.

Pizza slices
(Image credit: Design by Katja Cho)

You know those people who take a paper towel and blot the tops of their pizza? (Side note: HOW DARE YOU.) Well, it seems that besides inducing blind rage from, well, me, they also might be on to something—*or* they could just be pawns in a scheme for buying more paper towels.

Let me explain...

For the longest time, journalists/bloggers/anyone talking about blotting pizzas with paper towels or napkins were using a specific study that says blotting can eliminate 4.5 grams of fat and 41 calories per slice. Which, according to some lunatic math, saves you two pounds a year. (That is, if you're eating *87* slices per year.)

These figures, however, come from 15-year-old data by Georgia-Pacific Health Smart Institute. This institute is an initiative of Georgia-Pacific, which makes—wait for it—PAPER PRODUCTS. LIKE BRAWNY PAPER TOWELS.

According to Buzzfeed, who did the heavy lifting on this hellacious Pizza Scandal, the director of communications and public affairs at Georgia-Pacific said that they no longer had access to that data since the study was done so long ago and that they are "no longer able to verify the test results." 

In 2013, the Food Network show Food Detectives stated similar results...though uh, they don't really seem authoritative.

Facebook screenshot from Food Detectives

(Image credit: Facebook)

So—to dab or not to dab? In my humble opinion, just eat your damn pizza. It's all still terrible for you/great for you anyway.

Man and woman eating pizza

(Image credit: Marie Claire)

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I'm Sam, the senior editor at MarieClaire.com. I love shining a light on awesome people doing things that matter, cool products and hacks for everyday life, and advice you'll actually use. I'm pretty much always looking for the perfect GIF for any situation. When I'm not trolling the internet, I can be found dancing like a weirdo or napping like it's my job. Right now, I'm probably eating or drinking something filled with sugar or booze. (Sorry, mom.)