Vasalgel is being marketed as the first male birth control, and it begins human trials in the early months of 2015. The good news: Baboon trials are moving along swimmingly. The bad news: There is a vas deferens between this and birth control as you know it.
More specifically, the drug is a polymer that's injected into a man's vas deferens, the sperm tube. Think "vas-ectomy" without the Latin root for excision.
Whereas a vasectomy cuts the vas deferens* to prevent sperm from mingling with lady parts, Vasalgel** just clogs that fucker up. Whenever you want the kids to flow again, a second injection will unclog the seed spout to return to all systems go.
Baboons have already proven that the first injection can be effective. After the six-month trial where three males banged 10-15 females each, there was nary a single pregnancy scare.
The next phase of research will see if Vasalgel can be flushed out with a second injection, allowing the male baboons to produce sperm again.
This is the second round of baboon orgies for Vasalgel, because the first round ended poorly, with the drug being involuntarily dislodged by the jolt from researchers' prostate shocker. Our fingers are crossed, somewhere outside of the test area.
Reversal of a vasectomy is a ghastly thought, so men could certainly benefit from this new alternative. That said, marketing this as "male birth control" to every player who has disabused the idea that condoms are necessities for single people? That's a little terrifying. If Vasalgel's baboon trials succeed—and we hope it does—let's wait this one out for a while.
As a word of caution, can we adopt Bill Burr's stance on plastic surgery and see how this thing pans out? They haven't worked all the bugs out on this new science for baboons yet. Let someone else storm the beach while they fix the kinks on humans.
*In Latin, vas deferens is "vessel" + "to carry away."
**In English, the word "Vassal" has two definitions: (1) A feudal subject who has vowed loyalty to a superior lord, and (2) Someone in a subservient or subordinate position.
Stay In The Know
Marie Claire email subscribers get intel on fashion and beauty trends, hot-off-the-press celebrity news, and more. Sign up here.
16 Dreamy Spring Pieces I Can't Stop Thinking About
Warm-weather trends are in full bloom.
By Emma Walsh
For Deepica Mutyala, Entrepreneurship Is Worth the Sacrifice
The Live Tinted founder talks having it all—but not all at once.
By Gabrielle Ulubay
"It's Been Hell on Earth": Inside Alabama's Fertility Crisis
Last week, the state's Supreme Court ruled that frozen embryos are legally considered children. 'Marie Claire' spoke with affected women who are grappling with an uncertain future.
By Jessica Goodman
36 Ways Women Still Aren't Equal to Men
It's just one of the many ways women still aren't equal to men.
By Brooke Knappenberger
EMILY's List President Laphonza Butler Has Big Plans for the Organization
Under Butler's leadership, the largest resource for women in politics aims to expand Black political power and become more accessible for candidates across the nation.
By Rachel Epstein
Want to Fight for Abortion Rights in Texas? Raise Your Voice to State Legislators
Emily Cain, executive director of EMILY's List and and former Minority Leader in Maine, says that to stop the assault on reproductive rights, we need to start demanding more from our state legislatures.
By Emily Cain
Your Abortion Questions, Answered
Here, MC debunks common abortion myths you may be increasingly hearing since Texas' near-total abortion ban went into effect.
By Rachel Epstein
The Future of Afghan Women and Girls Depends on What We Do Next
Between the U.S. occupation and the Taliban, supporting resettlement for Afghan women and vulnerable individuals is long overdue.
By Rona Akbari
How to Help Afghanistan Refugees and Those Who Need Aid
With the situation rapidly evolving, organizations are desperate for help.
By Katherine J. Igoe
It’s Time to Give Domestic Workers the Protections They Deserve
The National Domestic Workers Bill of Rights, reintroduced today, would establish a new set of standards for the people who work in our homes and take a vital step towards racial and gender equity.
By Ai-jen Poo
The Biden Administration Announced It Will Remove the Hyde Amendment
The pledge was just one of many gender equity commitments made by the administration, including the creation of the first U.S. National Action Plan on Gender-Based Violence.
By Megan DiTrolio