• Give a Gift
  • Customer Service
  • Promotions
  • Videos
  • Blogs
  • Win
  • Games

January 16, 2008

The Dangers of the Warp-Speed Divorce

If you're the wife, you're bound to get screwed.

Share
Nearly 50 percent of marriages (including Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe's) end in divorce.

Nearly 50 percent of marriages (including Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe's) end in divorce.

Photo Credit: J. McCarthy/Getty Images

Special Offer

You can now get divorced by filling out an online TurboTax-style questionnaire, paying $250, dropping it in the mail, and going your separate ways. The quickie divorce is getting quicker, but the trouble with the tech-aided no-fault split is that, if you're the wife, you're bound to get screwed. Experts report that women's quality of life drops 45 percent after divorce — and not just for the homemaker with no credit. Those of you in Louboutin heels and corner offices are in serious danger of losing out for the sake of being done with it.

"The new DIY divorces work if you've agreed on everything; otherwise it's not so easy," says attorney Stacy Schneider, author of the new book He Had It Coming: How to Outsmart Your Husband and Win Your Divorce. "The goal isn't to take him for all he's worth, it's to make sure that when the dust settles, you're financially stable."

What are the biggest mistakes women make in DIY divorces?

Wanting to make a clean break. You're likely going to have some connection to your ex-husband — because of alimony or last year's taxes — whether or not you have kids. "The desire to quickly put the past behind you could haunt you in the future," says Schneider.

Going to pieces. Women are more likely to feel guilty over the failure of a marriage, whether or not it's their fault, says Schneider. "Put on your game face and keep your emotions to yourself," she advises.

Wimping out. Men's instincts are to protect their property; women's, their relationships. "Men are better negotiators by nature — they've been doing it in the boardroom, at the bank, for longer. This is a narrow window to fight for your future. Make the most of it."

Assuming he'll make good on his promises. "Verbal statements don't hold up in court, and even good guys change their minds."

THE DIY DIVORCE
THREE THINGS YOU MUST DO
1. Stay home. If you flee the house, you may forfeit your rights to it.

2. Leave no document unturned. Take your husband's name off wills and mortgages as soon as possible. Get a written decision on who is responsible for debt and taxes. If he's paying support, be sure that you're the beneficiary on his life insurance.

3. Follow the money. "Research all assets before you even utter the word 'separation.' You should know what you've got and what you want to fight for before you file," says Schneider.


Share
Connect with Marie Claire:
Advertisement
horoscopes
daily giveaway
One (1) winner will receive a year’s supply of makeup products from L’Oréal Paris (ARV: $188) and a year’s supply of hair products from L’Oréal Paris (ARV: $108).

One (1) winner will receive a year’s supply of makeup products from L’Oréal Paris (ARV: $188) and a year’s supply of hair products from L’Oréal Paris (ARV: $108).

enter now
You Know You Want More
More From Relationship Advice
The 6 Reasons Even the Best Relationships End

Here's hoping that Bey and Jay Z pull through, though.

How One Woman Toured Eastern Europe Using Tinder

I wanted the insider info I wouldn't get from a tour guide.

post a comment

Special Offer
Link Your Marie Claire Account to Facebook
Welcome!

Marie Claire already has an account with this email address. Link your account to use Facebook to sign in to Marie Claire. To insure we protect your account, please fill in your password below.

Forgot Password?

Thanks for Joining

Your information has been saved and an account has been created for you giving you full access to everything marieclaire.com and Hearst Digital Media Network have to offer. To change your username and/or password or complete your profile, click here.

Continue
Your accounts are now linked

You now have full access to everything Marie Claire and Hearst Digital Media Network have to offer. To change your settings or profile, click here.

Continue