Science—Yes, Science—Finds That McDonald’s Fries Can Cure Your Hair Loss

It’s 2018, and news is rarely happy anymore. But today, we bring you possibly the best news to ever exist, which is that scientists—real, live scientists with degrees from fancy places—have determined that McDonald’s French fries could cure your every sadness and ailment. Oh, and also hair loss.

According to a study conducted by researchers at Yokohama National University in Japan, McDonald’s fries could be the next big treatment in premature balding. Though we’d love to say that it’s a byproduct of the potatoes themselves, the magic actually comes from the chemical dimethylpolysiloxane, a silicone-based agent that’s added to the cooking oil to keep it from frothing.

In the study, released in Biomaterials journal, researchers transplanted silicone chips laced with thousands of hair follicle germs (HFGs, which simulate real hair follicles) into the backs of mice (erg, yeah—nobody said science was friendly) and found that it stimulated follicle rejuvenation in which hair could potentially grow. So no, it didn't topically regrow hair, but it did show potential in regrowing shut-down hair follicles, which is still major

So before you ask to dunk your hair into a vat of oil, please be aware that this study, although promising, has only been tested on animals, which, as a reminder, are not humans. Still, the medical community is pretty lit right now, because these findings could mean major things for regenerative hair therapy, like male pattern baldness.

But until then, may we recommend a really excellent hair-thickening product, like this drugstore foam that regrew a woman’s thinning hair in six weeks? Don’t worry; you can still get an order of fries, too.